The Next Hundred Pounds

WAS IT OR WASN'T IT A BINGE?

My weight loss graph for July looks like a line drawing of mountain peaks: up and down, up and down ... but at least it always ends down. This week, challenges have included getting myself motivated to go to the gym (I always end up going, but boy, some days it's hard!) and restricting the nibbling (never can seem to eliminate it; but I can manage it. Let's face it, some battles you just are not going to win)! We're also walking just about every day. I enjoy the walks and secretly (or not so secretly) wish that they were enough to ensure continued weight loss or at least maintenance; but they're not, so that's that. I am also trying to do the E2 workout twice a week, since I can't seem to bring myself to do strength training without the guidance of a personal trainer. Let me tell you, it kicks butt. I am still sore from Monday's session. But I'm sticking with it. I have fantasies of one day being able to do P90X.

Next challenge up: travel. I'll be heading out for New York early early tomorrow, and I always have to watch myself extra carefully on the road. I'll be staying in a friend's apartment, so I should be able to cook for myself most of the time. I only have one restaurant meal planned, and I get to pick. So, the plan is to hit the grocery store when I get in, and keep it simple:

Cereal, fruit, and soy milk for breakfast; extra fruit for snacks
Chickpeas and black beans
Whole wheat pita or a couple of ww rolls
Big bag of salad, 1-2 carrots, cucumber, avocado to make salads and wraps

(Quick plug, since food is on the brain: last night we had the Sweet Potato Bowl from the E2 Diet book, and it was colorful and yuuuuummmmmmmeeeeee! For anyone who is looking for some simple, quick, tasty, and healthful meals you can throw together with very little effort, I highly recommend this book.)

I don't want to buy too much, since I'm only there a few days and some meals I will probably end up grabbing on the go. Happily, salad bars abound in NYC; and you can always pop into the corner bodega for some yogurt or cottage cheese and fruit. I also travel with Think Thin protein bars, which make a great snack or emergency meal. Finding healthy food in a big city like NYC isn't the problem; it's that dreaded "vacation mentality". I'm away from home, therefore I am on holiday and can eat should eat deserve to eat oh hell, WANT to eat with abandon.

My solution: one small treat a day. One "indulgence" meal out during the trip. I've learned the hard way that it just doesn't work for me to let go, even temporarily. It's too hard to get back on track. I always have, eventually, but it's just not worth it in terms of ground lost; and I am working very, very hard right now to recover lost ground. It is a struggle every single day.

And yet, the struggle is worth it. That's the question I keep asking myself, and the question I think it is important for anyone trying to lose weight to regularly ask. Is what I am doing right now to lose weight worth it to me in the long run? Can I sustain this, or is it so extreme that at some point I will be unable to keep it as a lifestyle and start gaining the weight back?

Speaking of these ponderings, recently someone pointed me to a blog post in which the writer took issue with my use of the word "binge" to describe an incident that happened back in February. Apparently, I did not eat enough for this to qualify as a binge in her opinion, and in her opinion, this makes my relationship with food "weird". We've had a cordial exchange over the matter, but it makes me think (and well, okay, it makes me feel defensive, too. Just a tad).

This is a blog about health, weight loss, and dieting. If diet talk makes you crazy or bores you, this is probably not the place for you. This blog has been a terrific tool for me in my own efforts. It takes an enormous amount of daily effort to stay in control, and I do think a lot about food, nutrition, exercise, and general health.

What I don't do is talk about them all the time outside of this blog. This is the place in my life for this conversation, hopefully with interested parties. I can't think of anything more boring than sitting around talking about what you eat (except maybe talking about NASCAR, or TV shows you don't watch, or someone's gastrointestinal woes). Sure, it comes up in conversation, but I think what's bugging me here is the idea that someone is characterizing me as someone who can't talk about anything else. This is my blog, not my life. I do have other interests. :)

Also, IMHO, one of the keys to success in any field is not to let others define what's right, what's appropriate, or what success means for you. I tell my consultation clients this all the time. Only you get to decide what it means to be successful. Only you get to decide what works for you. Until I accepted this, and started to figure out what worked for me and what didn't, what I was willing to do and what I wasn't, I was not able to lose and keep off major poundage.

So yes, that was a binge. Perhaps it wasn't a classically defined food binge, in terms of eating everything in sight and continuing to eat to fill an emotional hunger rather than a physical one (which I certainly have done before), but more importantly, it was a psychological binge. It could have been the first step down a slippery slope, except that I caught it and figured out what I was doing and why. That, to me, is the significant thing here. It hasn't happened since, probably because I think I now know how to recognize the triggers.

I'm grateful for the criticism, actually, because I do think the conversation about women's relationships with food and body image is a very important one. I do think it's very important to be aware of when enough is enough, and to be realistic about that. To realize that there are no shortcuts and that the only thing that is really going to work longterm is lifestyle change. On another of my boards, a debate is raging over whether one should go on Releana and a 500-calorie-a-day (!!!!!) diet to lose those last 10 pounds. Sad to say, the first thing I thought was "wow, if it works ...". And then I started looking at what you had to do to get those last 10 pounds off, and I thought it was insane. Inject yourself with a hormone found in the urine of pregnant women, and eat a starvation diet for three weeks, after which you have to go on an Atkins-type diet?  Honey, anybody who eats only 500 calories a day is going to lose weight fast, and probably put it back on faster.

Part of my personal mission is to keep track of the "crazy thoughts" and to keep listening, carefully, to my body. This is not going to be sustainable if I succumb to trends and fads or if I try to take my body where it's not meant to go. Someone once accused me of wanting to be a size 0, and that made me laugh --- there is no way, short of starvation or illness, that my body could ever go there, and it's never been a goal.

Health is the goal. Everything else is icing on the cake.

OF POTATO SALAD AND HIKES

We had a wonderful, relaxed 4th of July. The food was great and very healthy! We're up early this morning and in a few minutes, we'll go for a walk, taking advantage of the morning cool.

The Red, White, and Blue Potato Salad was a hit, and it was completely fat-free.
Potatoes come in a variety of sizes and colors. For best results, I use fingerlings or the smallest size I can find. If they are small enough, you won't need to chop them!

RED WHITE AND BLUE POTATO SALAD

1/2 pound  red potatoes
1/2 pound  potatoes
1/2 pound (purple) potatoes
Juice of 1 lemon or lime
3-4 cloves garlic, roasted
1 bunch fresh basil
Salt to taste

Boil or roast the potatoes until tender and set aside. When cool, chop any large potatoes into bitesize pieces. In a food processor, combine garlic and basil leaves; process until a pesto is formed. Add lemon juice and salt. Add about an ounce of new potatoes and process until smooth.

Mix this "dressing" with the potatoes and chill until ready to serve.

*Note: to roast the garlic, spray with olive oil and bake in a 400F oven for 20 minutes. The cloves are done when they're soft and squirt out of their husk easily when pinched.

The Finished Product!

We had a good walk. Somewhat strange, because I somehow managed to put on one of my own shoes, and one of Eric's which are ever so slightly bigger than mine.

We saw deer!

And a night heron!

And a tiny bunny!

And we made it back before it got too hot. In a little while, I will head off to the gym to complete my workout regimen for the day.

Morning workouts are my ideal. I work from home when I am not off singing, and a ridiculous amount of mental energy is spent on logistics of when to go to the gym, depending on what else I have to do that day. It would be nice to get up,  put on my workout clothes, have a little breakfast, and walk, then hit the gym. Then I'd be done for the day and could move on.

Problem is, there are too many people at my tiny local gym in the mornings. It's hard to get the machine I want, and I certainly can't get it for a full hour. It's far too hot to walk anytime other than early morning or after 7. And I don't want to have to change clothes or shower more than once, at least not on a regular basis. On days when I don't teach, I wear exercise togs around the house all day, until it's time to go to the gym. But I don't like to wear them when I teach or run errands.

It's silly. One of life's niggling little annoyances. One of these days I will design exercise togs that can go from class to lunch with friends to the gym! Or maybe I will finally be able to afford the elliptical machine I want and a bike for my husband, and eliminate the need to go to the gym altogether. A girl can dream!

4th of July Party Menu

Happy 4th of July, everyone! I'm excited; the scale went down again this morning. We are forcing ourselves to walk, even in the awful heat. It helps.

We started our day with a trip to the grocery store, to see what fish looked good. The produce was fantastic, with gorgeous organic berries at their most enticing (and least expensive) of the season.

Eric and I love to cook, and we love to cook for crowds. Once upon a time we prided ourselves on extravagant gourmet meals, and we still do, but now our focus is on healthy extravagant gourmet meals. We're only having a few friends over tonight, but here's the menu. Everything is made from scratch and from fresh organic ingredients:

Fruit salad (peaches, blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, cherries, canteloupe, mango, bananas, watermelon, grilled pineapple. Grilling the pineapple brings out the sweetness.)

Guacamole and salsa with jicama chips (You can't have a party in Texas without guac and salsa. People would think you were a Yankee.)

Green salad with fatfree sesame tamari dressing

Grilled veggies (zucchini, onions, mushrooms, peppers)

Grilled salmon

Grilled lime ginger cilantro shrimp

Red, White, and Blue Potato Salad (fatfree, recipe to follow. I haven't made it yet so I don't know exactly what the recipe will be!)

Corn on the Cob with lime and chili powder

Chocolate Almond Milk ice cream (nondairy and lowfat)

Coconut Toasted Pecan ice cream (nondairy and lowfat)

***
Sounds good, no? And everything is really simple to prepare.

I also just have to mention a dish I made up last night, which was SO AMAZING. Coconut Lime Peanut Noodles. They go right into the Major Win column. Eric can't wait for me to make them again.

Recipe time:

COCONUT LIME PEANUT NOODLES
Serves 2

1/2 cup roasted peanuts
Juice of 1 lime
1 tbsp low sodium tamari
1 tbsp maple syrup, honey, or agave syrup
1/2 cup finely grated unsweetened coconut
1/2 package whole wheat spaghetti or soba noodles

Prepare the noodles according to package directions. While they're cooking, grind the peanuts in a food processor until they form a smooth paste. Gradually add the lime juice, tamari, and sweetener. If the mixture is too thick, add some veggie broth or water to thin it out.

Drain the noodles and return to pot. Immediately add the peanut mixture and coconut, and stir until combined. Serve immediately with a big spinach salad or stir-fry.

 LIME GINGER GARLIC CILANTRO SHRIMP

Juice of 1 lime
1 small ginger root, peeled  and chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 bunch cilantro, chopped
1 pound shrimp

Combine first 4 ingredients in a deep bowl. Wash the shrimp, (shell on if you're going to grill; you can peel them if you plan to pan cook) and toss them so they are well-coated. Let them marianate for 1 hour (not too much longer; the acid in the lime juice will "cook" the shrimp and they'll be tough. You can always prep everything but the lime juice and add it shortly before cooking).

Grill the shrimp until pink, or toss in a hot pan with some cooking spray and cook until they turn pink, 2-3 minutes depending on how big they are. Serve immediately!

***
And now, I must go make the ice cream. And prep the shrimp (my mom LURRRRVES them and I have to fix them like this every time now). Y'all have a wonderful 4th!

A WEEK'S WORTH OF BREAKFAST

I enjoy reading Mark Bittman's food column in the New York Times, and the comments that follow. People get so worked up about food and what they eat and what other people eat or don't eat! It especially amuses me that there is such conflict between those who eat meat and those who don't. There is a great deal of defensiveness and self-righteousness on both sides of the issue. Why, do you suppose, people get so worked up over food? Is it because it is so hard for most of us to resist things we know aren't good for us, so we end up feeling smug that we can, or defensive of our choices? Or just because some of us really love food and are interested in all aspects of it --- it's our sport of choice?

Recently, Bittman featured a 10-ingredient shopping list (meat-heavy, it inspired calls from vegetarians for a meatfree version, and engendered some minor brawling between vegs and carns) and it got me thinking about my own shopping and pantry staples. And that got me thinking about simple, healthy meal plans. Inspiration comes from many sources (Bittman included) though I rarely follow a recipe come scritto --- I've found that I can usually make do with a fraction of the fat, salt, and sugar called for, and make other substitutions to account for my tastes, budget, and laziness (as I tend to use whatever I have lying around).

So, for your amusement and hopefully inspiration, I'm offering a mini-series called "A Week's Worth of ...", starting with my favorite meal of the day, breakfast. Seven inexpensive, quick and easy, healthy recipes that are low on fat and sugar but big on taste.

One caveat: my own week of breakfasts does not look like this. I generally alternate between one or two of the plainer selections, eat breakfast out one or two days a week, and on the weekends, cook something a little fancier (like pancakes or French toast) if we don't eat out. But if you prefer more variety, this list is for you!

DAY ONE
YOGURT PARFAIT
One cup of nonfat Greek-style yogurt or cottage cheese, 1/2 cup mixed fruit, 1 tbsp dried cranberries. Optional: 1 tsp maple syrup or honey, 1 tbsp chopped walnuts.

Note: I make my own yogurt from skim milk. It's easy and delicious, and much cheaper than buying the Greek style!

DAY TWO
FRUIT MUFFIN
One whole grain English muffin, 2 tbsp non-hydrogenated plain Tofutti spread, 1/2 banana, 1/2 cup blueberries, 1 tbsp dried cranberries or raisins, 1 tsp cinnamon.

You can do this two ways: toast the muffin, then spread the Tofutti (it's like cream cheese), mash the banana on one half and stud the other with blueberries, then sprinkle the cinnamon and cranberries on top. Or, spread the Tofutti on the halved muffin, divide the banana and mash it on both sides, sprinkle cinnamon, and toast; then add blueberries and cranberries. It's yummy both ways.

*Avoid the regular Tofutti, which contains hydrogenated oils. Go for the one in the yellow carton. No matter what the carton says, if it contains hydrogenated oils, it is NOT healthy.

DAY THREE
CEREAL AND FRUIT BOWL

I didn't used to eat much cereal; found it boring. But since I started doing the E2 diet, I enjoy Rip's Big Bowl several times a week. It's his recipe so I won't reprint it here, but essentially he combines several types of low-fat, whole-grain cereal along with some dried fruit and nuts, tops it with a combination of fruit (I use fresh fruit salad which I make every day) and milk alternative (I like unsweetened almond milk).

DAY FOUR
SMOOTHIE

I enjoy smoothies for breakfast or snacks when I'm craving ice cream but it's not in the day's food plan. The base version:

1 scoop soy or whey protein powder
1 cup of milk alternative (unsweetened plain soy or almond milk are my faves)
1 cup of frozen fruit or 1 banana
1 tbsp nut butter
1 tsp ground flax meal
1 tbsp vanilla or orange extract
1 tbsp agave syrup, if you want it sweeter

Blend it all up until it's smooth!

My favorite combos:

Add 1/3 cup unsweeteened cocoa powder, such as Scharffen Berger, and use chocolate almond milk along with frozen cherries for a delicious chocolate cherry shake.

Blueberries and vanilla make a great purple shake. I add agave to this one.

Use a banana, some ice cubes to make it thicker, and coconut extract for a tropical shake.

DAY FIVE
CINDY'S SUPER SOUPED-UP FRENCH TOAST

The recipe is inspired by the one from E2, but I thought it needed more protein and maybe some crunch. I blogged about it here.

DAY SIX
BREAKFAST COBBLER

Before I became diabetic (which I have since reversed) and the carbs got to be too much for me, this was one of my favorite breakfasts.

1 serving oatmeal
1 tbsp toasted chopped walnuts or pecans
1 peach, or 1 cup of fresh blackberries
1 tbsp dried cranberries
1/2 cup of milk substitute or, if you're spluring, 1/4 cup half and half and 1/4 cup milk sub

Prep the oatmeal as you normally would and pile everything else on. I swear, it tastes like homemade cobbler.

DAY SEVEN
CINDY'S VEGAN PANCAKES

I stopped buying eggs some time ago. I'm the only one who eats them, and I don't bake much any more, so they would go bad before I could use them. So when I wanted to bake, I'd either have to go out and get eggs or find an alternative. And this was especially a problem on weekends, when I love to make pancakes. My husband loves the vegan pancakes at our favorite local restaurant, but I find the texture too gummy. So I experimented with my own, and we both agree that they're much tastier than anything we've had in restaurants!

2 cups whole wheat pasta flour
1 tbsp baking powder
1scoop soy or whey protein powder
1 tbsp flax meal
1-2 ripe bananas, mashed
1 tbsp orange or vanilla extract
1/2 cup agave syrup
1/2 to 3/4 cup milk substitute (soy or almond)

Optional:
1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries
1/2 cup chopped toasted walnuts

Mix the dry ingredients well and add mashed banana until thoroughly mixed. Add the wet ingredients and mix until smooth.

Heat a frying pan over medium heat and spray lightly with oil. Use a soup ladle to pour the right amount of pancake batter. When the edges of the cake begin to bubble, flip it and cook until the center is springy but not hard.

Serve topped with fresh fruit and a little maple syrup.

And there you have it --- seven days' worth of healthy breakfasts! Enjoy.

FOOD CHALLENGE #2: PROGRESS

For some reason I woke up at 3:30 a.m. yesterday morning, my mind racing, and couldn't get back to sleep. At least I got some good work done on the schedule for my opera program (ridiculously complicated). I actually like waking up early, before everyone else, and working in the quiet dark. I like seeing the rest of the world come to life. However, I don't like it so much when I didn't get enough sleep!

As a result of so little sleep, I was groggy for the rest of the day and the last thing I wanted was to go to the gym. I tried to convince myself that it was okay not to go, Maybe I could just walk. It rained finally, and it was cooler, but muggy. Maybe it would be okay to skip today.

But then I thought about this time last summer, when my broken wrist kept me from exercising very much at all, and how frustrating that was. I thought about how insistent on daily exercise I used to be, and my mantra for the summer, which includes the words, "Exercise daily".  Finally, I thought, "It's an hour. An hour out of my life. I waste more time than that daily."

And so I went, and you know what? I'm glad I did.

I'm also glad I didn't finish the cake.

You see, we went for dessert to Whole Foods, and I ended up getting a piece of cake. Usually WF cake isn't very sweet, but this kind had really sugary icing.  And generally speaking, I'd rather eat icing than the cake part, thank you. But this was just too much! I ended up taking the top icing off and just eating what was in the middle (the cake itself wasn't very sweet). It was hard to let that icing go, even though it was far too sweet and too much for me. It's crazy, but that's the way I think. Because it WAS so hard, I threw it away instead of taking some home to have another time. Again, so glad I did. I was afraid I'd obsess about it but five minutes later it was forgotten; so there really has been some progress.

We had a lovely visit with our friends last night, with lovely healthy food. There was hummus with crackers, bread, and goat cheese for appetizers, and I managed not to eat too much. Betsy made a very simple shrimp dish, cooked in white wine and lemon and topped with parsley --- so good! I brought a salad of spring greens topped with red onion, toasted pecans, and grapes, with the yummy fatfree salad dressing from the Engine 2 book (low sodium tamari, toasted sesame seeds, and maple syrup). We had some fresh berries for dessert and were serenaded by David and Betsy's talented son, Jamie, on both piano and trumpet.

I didn't want to weigh this morning; I even thought about it last night. Last night,  I told myself firmly, "No hiding. It is what it is; information; just take it and deal with it." And this morning, the scale showed another loss.

That brings me to 8.4 pounds for June; of course, this is ground that has been covered before, but it's bringing me closer to my February low. I feel re-energized!

Recipe time! Today, I'm making Asian-flavors tofu cutlets to go in wraps. I ground some toasted cashews, fresh basil, garlic powder, ginger powder, and low-sodium tamari in my food processor. I patted it over some drained extra-firm tofu, and sprinkled some nutritional yeast mixed with flaxseed meal over that, then poured on a little more tamari and veggie broth and let it soak for a while. It's presently baking at 350 for 45 minutes and smelling yummy! When it's done, I will serve it with spring mix, radishes, green onions, carrots, and whole wheat pita to make a delicious lunch wrap.

*Edited to add: Wrap is a MAJOR WIN. The tofu is warm and creamy; the radishes and carrots give a satisfying crunch; and we used leftover salad from last night with the sesame-tamari dressing. MMMM. Definitely a repeat customer. For fewer carbs, you could skip the pita and use Boston lettuce leaves instead. Also, the tofu would be good cold.

For dinner, I'm making stir-fry veggies with chicken-flavored seitan. I've never cooked seitan before and the one time I had it at a restaurant, it was very salty and a weird, spongy texture. So I'm not sure we'll like it, but I'm willing to give it a try for variety's sake. I'll let you know how it turns out!

FOOD CHALLENGE NO. 1

But first, a self-congratulatory haiku:

Old Navy clothing:
XL pants are far too big,
XL bras too small!

The sashimi poundage is almost all gone. What is that about, anyway? I would have had to eat 7000 calories in one day to gain two pounds overnight, and I'm sure that wasn't the case. So chalk it up to hormones and sodium. Regardless, I'm just happy to be losing again.

I am also very happy about Food Challenge No. 1, the fajita dinner for my cast. Frankly, I was so busy managing the whole thing I didn't even think about eating much, and when it came time to fill my plate, I skipped the meat altogether and just enjoyed some veggie fajitas on corn tortillas (lower fat and fewer calories than flour). I did not feel at all deprived. I didn't even think about the food very much, other than in terms of preparing it for other people. That is always a mini-triumph for me, because no matter how many times I think I have it beat, food obsession can rear its ugly head.

Anyway, next week we are having another get-together, and this time I think I will serve pasta and a nice garden veggie marinara sauce, with a big salad. At least it will help me get rid of some of my abundance of zucchini!

It was a busy day and I'm happy that I managed to get in my workout.  I'm happy that I stuck to my food plan and did not go get ice cream even though it was ridiculously hot and that makes me crave ice cream more than usual. But mostly, I am very happy that food was not the most important thing to me today, and that as I get ready for bed, I'm even a little hungry because it's quite possible I didn't eat enough. I wasn't really thinking about it. That, in itself, is a miracle.

Tomorrow is Food Challenge No. 2, dinner at friends' house. I'm not really worried; the main thing will be to make sure I don't eat too much just because it's there. Here my mantra comes in handy: eat mostly veggies, and eat them first!

FOOD CHALLENGES

After several months of not really losing, I seem to be back to my old patterns. I lose steadily for a couple of weeks, and then there will be a sudden biggish gain (1.5 - 2.5 pounds!) and then it either goes down just a little, or holds steady for a few days, and then starts all over again.

This time, the gain was triggered by sashimi. I always gain when I eat sashimi. It may be the sodium in the soy sauce, or it may be that I trick myself into thinking I'm eating less than I really am, since hey --- it's mostly seaweed and raw fish. Nevertheless, I am keeping up with the exercise and after the Sashimi Peak, the scale is inching down again.

I have two big eating challenges this week. Tomorrow, the cast for the opera I am directing is coming to my house for dinner and a musical rehearsal. Since most of them are coming from work, I volunteered to make dinner for everybody --- fajitas. Fajitas can actually be very healthy, but I decided to go the easy route rather than inflict my healthiness on everybody else, and I copped out and bought traditional fixings. That includes flour tortillas, chips, sour cream, and cheese.

To keep myself on the straight and narrow, I will sub my delicious corn tortillas for the traditional-for-fajitas flour, skip the cheese and sour cream, and fill mine with lots of veggies. I like to slice up jicama to eat instead of chips --- it's nice and crunchy. I'm making homemade salsa and guacamole, both of which are very healthy (as long as you don't overdo the guac, since avocados are high in fat --- healthy fat, but fat and therefore calories nonetheless).

It's been horrifically hot here, and that just makes me crave ice cream. I bought a half gallon for dessert --- just enough that the cast will probably finish it off. So I'll save some room for a small amount, and make sure that any leftovers go home with someone else. I absolutely cannot keep such a dangerous substance in my house! I will also make sure any remaining cheese and sour cream exit the premises.

The other challege is a dinner invitation to some friends' home. Now, these friends very thoughtfully asked about our food preferences, but I always feel weird about making special requests when I'm a guest in someone's home, even if they ask! I never really know what to say. Eric is a vegetarian, but he hates for anyone to make a fuss over him. I need to find a way to handle this so no one feels awkward. I just try to be flexible and if a food is something I'm not comfortable with nutritionally, to just take a very small portion.

In other food news, one of the great discoveries of the past couple of weeks are the E2 Diet's really delicious fatfree salad dressings. I made one today consisting of nothing more than toasted sesame seeds, low-sodium tamari, and maple syrup. It was terrific over my spinach, jicama, orange, and red onion salad (with a few toasted cashews for crunchiness). I recommend it highly for "sweet" salads. We also like E2's honey dijon salad dressing. The fatfree dressings really save on some calories, calories I'd rather spend on being able to dip into the big bowl of fruit salad I keep in the fridge for a cool, refreshing snack bite; or a post-workout snack of homemade bread and homemade pecan walnut butter. Another really great hot weather snack: frozen cherries or grapes.

Planning ahead, not just the day's meals but a few days in advance, is really helping both my waistline and my budget. Keeping healthy snacks prepped and on hand is also very helpful. We shop twice a week, and I highly recommend planning all your meals for the days between trips. I've been making a lot of things like hummus and a hearty bean-rice-corn-tempeh mixture that can be used lots of different ways. We eat the hummus in wraps or on salads; the bean mix is great for tacos or by itself with a salad of green onion, lettuce, salsa, and a little guacamole on top. Stir-fries are another great way to get a lot of veggies in. And last night, I made a terrific and super-quick pasta sauce: can of Muir Glen fire-roasted tomatoes, with some sauteed chopped onion, zucchini, fresh basil, and mushrooms (really, whatever veggies you have in the fridge) and a little red wine. It takes all of ten minutes to throw together and serve over whole wheat pasta. I added some crumbled tempeh into mine. It made two full meals for two adults, with enough for Eric's lunch tomorrow. Meat eaters could easily crumble in some ground beef or turkey, or even sausage.

The point is, there are a LOT of quick, healthy, inexpensive meals you can make and modify however you please. It makes it easier to choose wisely when you're in a hurry!

SHINING UP THE TOOLS

Now that I'm allowing myself to really examine where I've gone wrong over the past few months, I realize that I've let some of the tools that were so valuable to me in the beginning get a little rusty.

Yesterday I had lunch with a friend who is ready to make some changes and wanted to pick my brain about what had worked for me. I geared up with lots of "show and tell", including my daily food plan, a shelf's worth of books, and my inspirational jewelry. As I shared them with her, it occurred to me that I haven't worn my inspiration bracelet or necklace in a long time.  The handy little book of response cards that for many months accompanied me wherever I went now sits, unopened, on a shelf next to my desk. I haven't reviewed a list of reasons why I want to lose weight or written any new response cards in months.

At one time, these items were invaluable reminders and aids, and I've made attempts to refresh them, but ultimately, they simply don't resonate as they once did. To a large degree I have internalized them. I often find myself repeating the most important mantras to myself: "It's just food ... there will be more ... I can have some another time." "I'll be really unhappy if I eat past fullness." (Used that one this morning at breakfast, and 10 minutes later, I was SO happy I did).

Another important tool that I have allowed to rust is the idea of giving myself credit. This morning over breakfast, as I pushed away a plate of whole wheat apple pancakes that I would have LOVED to finish, although I had had plenty, I thought about it for the first time since ... I don't know when. I thought, "Hey! I deserve credit for stopping when I'm full! I deserve credit for skipping the butter and for subbing lower fat mozzarella and more veggies in the omelette. I deserve credit for dragging myself to the gym the other day when I really wanted to lie on the bed and finish reading my book!"

So, now I'm thinking about what else I may have forgotten, and how to refresh and renew some of these tools that worked so well in the past, or find new ones. One tool that has never failed me is the food plan. Although there are times when I get busy and skip a day of writing it down, I never fail to at least mentally plan what I will have. (Writing is better).

Currently, I'm trying to plan several days in advance. It helps with scheduling time for food prep, as well as budgeting. My husband and I really enjoy shopping together, and we make a little event of it, getting up early, having breakfast out, doing the shopping and errands. Afterward, I do some preliminary food prep (washing salads and fruit, trimming things like radishes and removing grapes from stems so they're ready to eat) and usually I will make one or two quick dishes, such as hummus or fresh salsa. I've also started organizing the shelves in my fridge so that all the prepped fruit is in one place; all the prepped veggies in another; leftovers on yet another. It makes it very easy to quickly locate items I need for meal prep.

Things I need to work on:
Not nibbling (no grabbing little extra bites --- they count!)
Accountability (keeping the weight graph, weighing regularly)
Honesty (no fooling myself!)

What are your particular challenges? What do you most need to work on in your own journey to better health?

GOOD FOR THE SOUL

You know what they say about confession being good for the soul? Well, I've been doing some mental housekeeping lately and it's time to come clean.

It's not exactly a secret that I've been struggling for several months now to lose the last thirty pounds, or that my weight's been going up and down a few pounds like kids playing on the escalator at the mall. But I have been reticent about specifics, partly due to embarrassment, partly due to trying to stay positive, and largely due to hiding the truth from myself. I'm very good at that last part!

When I was in Minnesota back in February, I got down to the lowest low yet: 134.5 pounds down from my original weight. It was a rarified environment: no one but myself to cook for, no food in the house but what I brought in, upwards of two hours of exercise a day. But once back home, I couldn't maintain that, and my weight started creeping up. I stopped keeping my weight loss chart, stopped exercising so much, and lost track of how much I was gaining back. It's not until I got back from my most recent trip to LA, struggling with overcoming that "vacation mentality", that I got out the ol' chart again.

And then I realized that I had not weighed my current weight (which, BTW, is down over 6 pounds from the beginning of this month) since December 2008. That's right, I gained back almost twenty pounds.

As you can imagine, this scares the hell out of me. This has happened so many times before, and it was the same situation: I got busy with my singing career and let the health issues slide. Before I knew it, the pounds were back, with friends.

What makes the difference this time? This time, I caught it. This time, I haven't panicked. I know what to do,  I'm doing it, and I will continue to repeat the process as many times as necessary. I fully expect that there will come another time when I will get on the scale and say, "Whoa! It's salad week!" I believe this is a normal part of life for a person who must work to manage her weight. So, moving forward, I refuse to let it freak me out, even a little.

I'm coming clean now for several reasons. One (so shoot me) is that I feel I have it under control, and feeling stronger, I can open up about it. Second, I feel slightly guilty for not sharing this glitch with my readers before now. Third, I know there are others out there who are struggling with this very issue themselves, and my experience may help them.

I have renewed enthusiasm for the whole process, and feel more hopeful than every that I can see this through to goal. It's exciting to me (in retrospect) to go through these ups and downs. When you jump a hurdle, however clumsily, you get to see what you can do better next time you face it.

To end on a positive note, I've been eating the E2 way for about a week now and I love it (so does my husband). I'm not 100% faithful to the veganism, but I'm about 99%. One of the recipes is for French toast, which my French husband loves. You know me, I can never make a recipe as written. I souped it up a little bit and I leave you with CINDY'S SUPER SOUPED-UP FRENCH TOAST.

Serves 2.

2 ripe bananas, mashed.
1 cup milk substitute (I use unsweetened almond milk, or soy)
1 scoop soy or whey protein powder
2 tsp vanilla or orange extract
2 tsp cinnamon
4 slices whole grain bread
1/4 cup rolled oats
1/4 cup chopped pecans

Mix the protein powder with the milk substitute, extract, and cinnamon. Add the mashed banana. In separate bowl, place the oats and chopped pecans. Soak the bread first in the wet mixture, then roll in the dry.

Heat a frying pan and when hot, spray with just enough canola oil so the bread won't stick. Cook on both sides until firm.

Serve topped with a lot of fresh fruit and a little bit of maple syrup. MMMMMMMMMMMMM!

THERE IS NO MAGIC HEALTH FAIRY AND IF THERE WERE, SHE'D BE ON THE TAKE.

Yesterday, while on the elliptical at the gym, I saw one of those new Walmart commercials. An attractive young mother was talking about how a family of four could save $880 a year just by foregoing fast food breakfasts for a "nutritious" breakfast at home. (First thought: Really? How many families of four regularly get their breakfast at a fast food place, and in what universe could anybody think that was a good idea?). Behind her was a table with a big box of Frosted Flakes and a gallon of milk. (Second thought: Seriously? A sugary, high carb cereal and some milk, no protein, no fresh fruit ... this is a nutritious breakfast? Maybe in Corporate America).

Then, V Adams commented in yesterday's post about the delicious vegan brownies at Whole Foods, and it got me thinking. We are all susceptible to lazy thinking in various areas of our lives, and most people are extremely lazy in their thinking about food, yours truly most adamantly included. Food is so basic! We have to have it every day. We get in trouble when we have too much of the wrong kind. But figuring out how much food we should have and what the right kind of food is and how we can get it into our bodies with the minimum muss, fuss, and expense, and how we can deal with food which is not good for us but is obsessively appealing ... well, that's where it gets very complicated.

The simple fact is that there is no Health Fairy Seal of Approval, there is no Mary Poppins umbrella, underneath which all foods are magically and assuredly Healthy. I can crow all I like about eating organic, locally grown products but if the bulk of those products are potatoes and cheese, that isn't healthy. Just because something is labeled "Vegan" does not mean it is good for you. V's delectable vegan brownies may easily have just as much fat and sugar as a conventional brownie, and may or may not score higher on the Healthy Foods Scoreboard. (Hydrogenated margarine? Vegan, but not healthy. Too much sugar, no matter what the source, not healthy. Sorry, V!). You don't get a free ride as a Vegetarian, either. Mac and cheese is vegetarian; so is a loaded baked potato if you skip the bacon bits. And all those animal product substitutes, like texturized vegetable protein (what they use to make veggie burgers) and various dairy alternatives --- those can be absolutely awful for your health.

Furthermore, labels like "organic", "free-range", and "all natural" can be very deceptive. They sound good, but thanks to USDA regulations, the product may or may not fulfill the spirit of the label. An appalling example is the term "free-range", which is supposed to indicate that the animals have been kept in a humane environment with access to roam freely outdoors. The advertising agencies responsible for promoting these products would like you to think those cows are wandering happily through sunny fields of green grass, eating hay and daisies. The chickens are clucking and scratching in the dirt, eating bugs and bits of rock like chickens are supposed to do. The reality in many cases is that these animals are being crowded into barns, fed things that are convenient for humans but ultimately unhealthy for the animals (cows are not meant to eat grain) and denied the opportunity to do and eat what comes naturally to them. The corporate farm is allowed to label their animals "free-range" (and therefore command a higher price) simply by allowing access to the outdoors  --- which may be nothing more than a mud pen. And there is no specified amount of time which the animals must be allowed to roam freely outside.

Now, I don't intend this to be an animal rights rant (that's another blog post entirely), but rather to point out that you cannot trust labels. Labels are meaningless unless you have put in the time to figure out what they really mean.

It's a minefield, I tell you, a minefield! We must all stop eating everything immediately and subsist on alcohol and Starbuck's vente frappucinos, like the celebrities do!

Or, we could just educate ourselves about nutrition.

I know, I know, what a drag, but if you are really interested in being healthy and losing weight, this is one area where there are no shortcuts. Furthermore, you will also have to make decisions every step of the way about what makes most sense to you, because there is a lot of conflicting information out there.

My personal journey to weight loss has led me to do a lot of reading. I've listed some of the most influential books in one of the sidebars of this blog. If you can't bring yourself to sit down and read an actual book about nutrition, there are lots of excellent blogs out there. I'll work on compiling a list of them, and I'd love to hear reader recommendations.

In the meantime, here's what my own research has led me to:

While I don't think that eating meat or animal proteins is necessarily bad, I do think they are best consumed sparingly and then only if they come from reliable sources. Animals should be truly free-range and bred on the foods that are natural to them (i.e. grass-fed beef). Dairy products should be organic and as low-fat as you can stand. Yard eggs are far superior to those lily-white grocery store things.

Milk substitutes are a great way to get your milk on without the fat and calories that come from cow milk, and you KNOW I love my half-and-half in my coffee. But I've stopped using milk except for the nonfat organic milk I use in my homemade yogurt (turns out it's very hard to make yogurt successfully from alternate milk products). My current favorite is almond milk; the unsweetened kind has only 40 calories a cup! I also use unsweetened organic soy milk. Watch out for any milk alternative that has sugar added, and many of them do. Also, soy is one of those products that you absolutely want organic.

The issue of fat deserves its own book, let alone its own blog post, so let me just state briefly that I have come to believe that fat, like other foods, is best consumed as close to its natural, unprocessed state as possible. In other words, just like it's better to eat a whole fruit instead of fruit juice, it's better to eat a few olives than a couple of tablespoons of olive oil. Yes, there are some fats that are healthier than others --- olive, canola, safflower --- but they are still very highly caloric and it's very easy to eat too much. My current ideal is to use a little spray canola or olive oil when needed to grease a pan for cooking, and the rest of the time, to get my fats from whole foods.

Speaking of whole foods, the less processed something is, the better off you are, healthwise. Fresh veggies and fruits, and even frozen ones, are so much better than anything canned or prepared in a frozen dinner. Whole grains offer much greater nutritional content and a lower glycemic load than heavily processed grains. Eat simple.

I also believe in eating as low-fat and low-sugar as I can manage. I like to bake, but I almost always replace added fat and sugar in my recipes, and I don't miss them. And I have a major sweet tooth.

To encapsulate: I believe in eating a largely organic plant-based, unprocessed diet occasionally supplemented by animal proteins and treats.

And even with all this, I still have to carefully read every label and decipher its meaning. It's worth it to me, because not only do I want to finish losing and keep off this weight for the rest of my life, but I want to do so without having to think about it so much every single day. That means surrounding myself on a regular basis with foods I know are good for me, and getting in the habit of eating the right amount and the right things most of the time. (Note: not all of the time. Life's too short not to eat gelato and garlic naan with saag paneer and sweet potato fries with chipotle mayo. I'm just sayin'). I want to be healthy. I want to be one of those old ladies with more energy than anyone else around her, making all the 30-year-old moms shake their heads and wonder how I do it. And also, I think this way of eating is better for the environment, the economy, and the soul. I think it's better for the human race.

And while I'm not on a campaign to make all the heathens eat EXACTLY THE WAY I DO OR ZOMG YOU'RE GOING TO CULINARY HELL, I do very much encourage you to explore, to educate yourselves, and to find out what works and what makes sense to you. Because that is what you will be able to stick with over time, and it's what will make you happy and comfortable and healthy in the long run. It will evolve, too. Let it, and enjoy the ride!