You know what they say about confession being good for the soul? Well, I've been doing some mental housekeeping lately and it's time to come clean.
It's not exactly a secret that I've been struggling for several months now to lose the last thirty pounds, or that my weight's been going up and down a few pounds like kids playing on the escalator at the mall. But I have been reticent about specifics, partly due to embarrassment, partly due to trying to stay positive, and largely due to hiding the truth from myself. I'm very good at that last part!
When I was in Minnesota back in February, I got down to the lowest low yet: 134.5 pounds down from my original weight. It was a rarified environment: no one but myself to cook for, no food in the house but what I brought in, upwards of two hours of exercise a day. But once back home, I couldn't maintain that, and my weight started creeping up. I stopped keeping my weight loss chart, stopped exercising so much, and lost track of how much I was gaining back. It's not until I got back from my most recent trip to LA, struggling with overcoming that "vacation mentality", that I got out the ol' chart again.
And then I realized that I had not weighed my current weight (which, BTW, is down over 6 pounds from the beginning of this month) since December 2008. That's right, I gained back almost twenty pounds.
As you can imagine, this scares the hell out of me. This has happened so many times before, and it was the same situation: I got busy with my singing career and let the health issues slide. Before I knew it, the pounds were back, with friends.
What makes the difference this time? This time, I caught it. This time, I haven't panicked. I know what to do, I'm doing it, and I will continue to repeat the process as many times as necessary. I fully expect that there will come another time when I will get on the scale and say, "Whoa! It's salad week!" I believe this is a normal part of life for a person who must work to manage her weight. So, moving forward, I refuse to let it freak me out, even a little.
I'm coming clean now for several reasons. One (so shoot me) is that I feel I have it under control, and feeling stronger, I can open up about it. Second, I feel slightly guilty for not sharing this glitch with my readers before now. Third, I know there are others out there who are struggling with this very issue themselves, and my experience may help them.
I have renewed enthusiasm for the whole process, and feel more hopeful than every that I can see this through to goal. It's exciting to me (in retrospect) to go through these ups and downs. When you jump a hurdle, however clumsily, you get to see what you can do better next time you face it.
To end on a positive note, I've been eating the E2 way for about a week now and I love it (so does my husband). I'm not 100% faithful to the veganism, but I'm about 99%. One of the recipes is for French toast, which my French husband loves. You know me, I can never make a recipe as written. I souped it up a little bit and I leave you with CINDY'S SUPER SOUPED-UP FRENCH TOAST.
2 ripe bananas, mashed.
1 cup milk substitute (I use unsweetened almond milk, or soy)
1 scoop soy or whey protein powder
2 tsp vanilla or orange extract
2 tsp cinnamon
4 slices whole grain bread
1/4 cup rolled oats
1/4 cup chopped pecans
Mix the protein powder with the milk substitute, extract, and cinnamon. Add the mashed banana. In separate bowl, place the oats and chopped pecans. Soak the bread first in the wet mixture, then roll in the dry.
Heat a frying pan and when hot, spray with just enough canola oil so the bread won't stick. Cook on both sides until firm.
Serve topped with a lot of fresh fruit and a little bit of maple syrup. MMMMMMMMMMMMM!