So, I've been beating myself up this week, despite this counterproductive activity being strictly against company policy. On Wednesday, when I realized that I was just too damned worn out to do my scheduled P90X Plyo workout (probably the hardest one in the rotation), I lay on the bed and sobbed. I was just so mad. And I kept trying to rev myself up to go and do it anyway, and just couldn't. Finally, I retired to a hot bath and a glass of wine, and just gave up for the day.
I was able to pick up the workouts the next day, but I was a day behind and couldn't find a day to double up. So Sunday came --- Kenpo day --- and I had to face the fact that it just was not going to happen. It was very upsetting. It's not that I hadn't worked out that day, I just never found time to make up the last workout of the week. Boy, was I bummed.
I posted about it at The Athletic Performer FaceBook page, where my inspirational friend Robin told me that even the best athletes sometimes miss a workout and that I should just accept it and move on. That's when it struck me.
There's this mentality I've had all along that underneath my dedication to improving my fitness and specifically to sticking to my current program, lurks the dreaded Inner Couch Potato. She is loaded with sour cream, cheese, bacon, and butter, and she is just waiting to catch me snoozing so she can pin me to the sofa, and stuff my face with the evil trifecta of carbs, fat, and sugar until inertia renders me unable to get up. Deep inside, I fear that if I get into the habit of skipping workouts --- and missing one is the beginning of the slippery slope --- THE POTATO WILL WIN.
Robin says the potato will not win, and it's time for me to stop thinking like a fat girl. Robin is probably right.
I've kept up with most of my workouts despite a ridiculously grueling schedule the past two weeks, and I have NOT pigged out during our many restaurant excursions. I've managed just fine.
Sometimes it's hard to erase those old tapes. They rear their ugly heads when you are especially tired and vunerable. I don't know if it will ever be possible to silence them entirely, but I do know that just because they are repeating their old negative messages does NOT mean I have to believe them. It doesn't mean they're true. The important thing for me is to throw the potato against the wall, get up tomorrow, and do the workout I have scheduled. Tomorrow will mark Week 7 of P90X for me. If I've only missed one workout in six weeks, that ain't too shabby.
Take that, Potato.