The Next Hundred Pounds

I'VE GOT BOOBS THAT JINGLE JANGLE JINGLE ...

These are my new shoes. Think they're gaudy? You should see my coin bra.

That's right. My next role is going to star a whole lot of cleavage and my bare midriff, all swathed in belly-dancer style coins. Think I Dream of Jeannie. If only I had Barbara Eden's figure!

Well, okay. Full disclosure. My actual midriff will NOT be showing because, well, nobody needs to see that, but it will be represented by the presence of the heaviest duty Spanx I could find, and there is a splendiferous hot pink coat bedazzled with all manner of baubles. But the illusion is there.  There is nothing between me and the world but the Spanx. But hey, if even Hollywood starlets swear by it, why should I be ashamed?

Nevertheless, this costume makes me wish I'd been hitting the Abs Ripper X even harder. But it's going to take more than one twelve-week stint for my abs to approach anything that could be described as "cut". They're more like "squeezed", as in from a tube of cookie dough. Nice firm cookie dough, but dough nonetheless.

I am still stuck on Week 9 of P90X, having to work it around the rehearsal schedule, and I still haven't started running. For one thing, it's just dang hot here and I haven't been waking up early enough to run in the mornings. But I'm determined to get started.

Foodwise, I've been eating oddly but happily, not too much. Lately all I really want are smoothies -- maybe because it's so hot. So I alternate between homemade smoothies and salads, with handfuls of nuts and dried cranberries as a snack. Over the weekend, I had occasion to hang out in a  Barnes and Noble for a little while, and I thumbed through Michael Pollan's Food Rules, an easy to read, sensible, nice little reminder of how we should be eating 80-90% of the time. It's essentially a boiled-down version of his philosophy, reduced to pithy and memorable little statements like "Don't eat cereal that changes the color of the milk" , "Don't eat anything that has the same name in every language" and "Don't eat food that doesn't rot". (That last one especially resonates with me because, as I write this, we have half a package of grocery store brand white bread that we bought back in March, when my in-laws were here, to feed the ducks. It has been on the counter ever since --- even the ducks had better sense that to eat it --- and it is neither moldy nor stale. Does this stuff even digest?).

I find stuff like this useful  because it will pop into my mind when I am tempted, ever so briefly, to go through a drive-through or pop a frozen dinner in the microwave for convenience's sake. But then I remember that eating that stuff not only will fail to satisfy my nutritional needs, it will not satisfy my taste buds and I'll be left craving REAL food. It's just not worth it.

So, I had my smoothie for breakfast, I'll have some whole wheat pasta with veggies than I made last night for lunch, and take a salad with me to rehearsal this afternoon since I'm not coming home until late and have no place to refrigerate stuff. And now, it's off to do my yoga, much of which takes a surprising amount of core strength. And that can only be good for the coin bra.

NO VAYCAY FROM FITNESS!

One of the challenges of all the traveling I'm doing these days is not really having much information about where you're going to land. Sure, the hotel has pretty pictures of their gym on the website, but when you get there half the free weights are missing and the elliptical machine is broken, plus it's overrun with ten-year-olds whose parents are in the bar ignoring the "No unsupervised kids under 15" signs. Or your plans to run are foiled by the fact that the neighborhood you find yourself in is too dangerous for such activity. Or you're in the middle of nowhere and it seems like there's not much to do when you're not rehearsing but eat or hang out in the pub with your colleagues.

Wah wah wah. None of these are insurmountable; they are just challenges; and they are challenges I've faced before; but now with more time on the road they seem to pile up with more intensity and I am still working out how to  best deal with them. What has worked well for me in the past is an ironclad routine; but that is not always possible under present circumstances. So I am having to reprogram my mind to accept that there are going to be days and even sometimes weeks without working out, but this doesn't mean a big, free-for-all Fitness Vaycay.

It means that on days when I can't fit in a real workout, I do as much walking and "found" exercise as possible --- taking the stairs, walking the long way around, doing a little stretching and maybe a few pushups and calf raises here and there. And it means regular stern talkings-to-myself about what does and doesn't constitute a reasonable food intake.

So, I'm settled into my newest temporary home, which is a really lovely house owned by really lovely people a long, long way from where rehearsals are being held, and kind of a long, long way from just about anything other than other beautiful homes. At least, it's a long, long way when you don't have a car. I am dependent on the company driver to bring me to rehearsals, the grocery store, etc., at least for the time being. And this makes me feel trapped and anxious. But, my hosts are very kind and are letting me borrow a bicycle, and when they leave town next week, they have very generously offered to let me use their car. In the meantime, their luxurious home features, among many other amenities, a small gym in the basement, outfitted with an elliptical machine, a weight station, and some other goodies. It's more than sufficient for me to do my P90X --- still no place for pull-ups, but I can do the alternative, with my resistance band looped over the top of the weight machine. And I'm sure I will hit the elliptical on my lifting days.

My hosts are into fitness, themselves.  They met underwater, while scuba diving in Cancun, when she was running out of oxygen and he shared his with her --- so romantic! And Joseph has lost quite a lot of weight himself, the old-fashioned way, so they tend to keep a pretty healthy kitchen and cook very nice, healthy meals. My hostess' sister, who I have not yet met, is very much into organics and healthy food, so when I unpacked my whey protein powder and almond milk and supplements, they exclaimed over them --- apparently I eat just like the sister!

Plus, one of the amenities of this home is a very friendly, sweet little poodle, who loves to cuddle and play and give kisses. I miss my puppies and my husband a lot right now, so it's nice to get the puppy love.

Today I helped Jeannette do a little light gardening, and then I restarted Week 9 of P90X. I'd gotten in three workouts before I left for New York, but then there were several days off. Slowly I am getting over my frustration at the delays --- it's better to just restart, and it's not like those other workouts were wasted. I'm kind of anxious at this point to finish the program just so I can restart it with the cardio emphasis!

But here's what I plan to restart tomorrow: running. I'm going to do the Freeway to 10K program from Podrunner Intervals to get started. If you don't know about this, it's a free series of podcasts with different running programs set to music which changes beat per minute to help you run at the tempo you'd like. The music isn't great, but it has a good beat and it's easy to move to. All you have to do is plug in your IPod, stretch out, and start moving.

I need to hit it hard right now, because when I get home, my opera workshop is going for the next month and I have almost no free time. So, running and P90X, and maybe a little elliptical. I can do this!

THE DEATH GRIP TAKES A HOLIDAY

So, it' s no secret that I've somewhat relaxed my death grip on what foods I will and won't allow to pass through the doors of the temple that is my  body (please to take note of tongue firmly in cheek). This is both a good and a bad thing; at this point I've probably tilted a little too far in the direction of relaxation. But I still try to make good choices as often as possible, shooting for 85-90% of the time. It's more of a maim grip at this point.

I get in the most trouble when I don't have a plan, a written plan, for what I am going to eat on a particular day. If I have not written out this plan, which works like a little contract for me, it is much easier to slip in more calories, fat, sugar, and carbs than I should have on any given day. Even when I have not written my food plan, most days I sketch a rough mental plan first thing in the morning, or right before I go to bed. It's not as good as writing it, but it's still a plan. When I sit down to eat, I mentally review what I've already had that day and police myself on what I'm putting on my plate right then. I try to eat only until I approach fullness. If I need a snack later, I have one.

Travel is one of those things that makes it more challenging to eat healthfully. Normally I wouldn't even consider eating a bagel. Oh, it's not that I don't like them (especially the everything bagel schmeared with olive cream cheese from Nussbaum and Wu), but they have a lot of calories and carbs and very little to offer in the way of nutritional value. However, they are free in the President's Club lounge, and when you're leaving the house at 4 a.m. for your 6 a.m. flight, it's certainly easier to pop by the lounge at the airport for your free breakfast (and they won't let you bring in outside food). Sure, I could have a banana instead, but it's just not very satisfying. A bagel for breakfast once in a while is not going to kill me, but free-bagel-over-fresh-fruit is still  a bad attitude.

So, I try to make up for it with lunch. Take yesterday, for instance. Had my bagel at the lounge, and at my next connection,  Houston, I went in search of a nice salad to take on the plane. And there were plenty of salads, salads galore. Nice, fresh salads. Not one of them less than seven bucks, and  that's if you didn't want protein. That's just for lettuce in a plastic box, with a little bit of cheese and some shredded carrots sprinkled on top. I ended up paying an exorbitant $9.50 for a chef salad from Panopolis. That was a plastic box of lettuce with half a hard-boiled egg, an ounce of cheese, and a thin slice each of ham and turkey. There was a sign requesting feedback, so I emailed my opinion of this price-gouging and corporate greed. Got two very nice replies, too, from two managers of the food concessions at IAH, apologizing for "failing to meet my expectations" and explaining that they had to keep the prices that high for various reasons (the unspoken one being PROFIT MARGIN --- gotta keep those executives in their Beamers and Benzes). But that's neither here nor there. I just wanted to bitch about that.

The point is, I actually considered just going to Wendy's or McDonald's and getting a hamburger; but ultimately, I knew it would suck, I wouldn't enjoy it, and while it would fill my stomach it'd be poor quality nutrition. I could have eaten a couple of the protein bars I carry with me, but sadly, I am not and never will be one of those people who can see food as nothing more than fuel.

The salad was good and fresh, and it was a good choice. But in the future, I'm going to have to go back to my old Death Grip techniques of bringing food from home to make sure I get something that is healthy, nutritious, satisfying ... and doesn't require selling a kidney.

Speaking of travel, I have finally heard about my homestay for my next gig, and it sounds like it will be really nice --- they have a gym in their home, so it seems unlikely they would object to my daily bouts of P90X. I was worried about having to do a lot of jumping around in somebody's upstairs room or otherwise disturbing my hosts. I'm still a little concerned because I do not have my own transportation, and I'm told the home is 15-20 minutes from the rehearsal site by car; and I just never know what the cooking situation is going to be. Most of the time people don't think to clear space for you to keep your food; often they are very generous and want to feed you themselves, which of course I am leery of because I have to be in control of my food. It's the not-knowing-til-you-get there that bugs me. If I know ahead of time what sort of situation I have, I can make plans to deal with it.

But, this is my life now, and it's just something I have to figure out.

That, and how to put together a magical, gorgeous wardrobe that is perfect for any climate or situation, lives in my suitcase, and thus never has to be packed.

DIVORCING THE CUPCAKE

Everybody knows someone like this --- the woman who has it all together except she just can't seem to beat her attraction to bad boys, the nice guy who continually wastes his time on shallow girls who just use him and move on. When it comes to our relationships with food, a lot of us are like those lovely but clueless friends of ours. We never learn our lessons and we keep going back to things that hurt us.

The free e-newsletters from Livestrong often have good info and motivation for healthy living. The one that showed up in my mailbox today had a link to a great blog post by Sarah Metzger about making radical changes to her diet. "By ditching the foods that weren’t honoring my body I’ve ushered in a new clarity, "she writes. "I’ve derived a great deal of power from building my own plan, my way."

Any long time readers of this blog will recognize that sentiment --- I'm a My Way kinda gal, too, and believe that is what finally allowed me to be successful after years of battling yo-yo dieting. I like Sarah's way of thinking about food --- she chooses to honor her body. She chooses to avoid things that don't.

There was also a lot of gold in the comments section, including quote from TLJax :

"I made a decision almost a year ago to divorce myself from the foods I was courting. I realized they promised to make me feel good, but left me like an unfaithful wife, fat, lonely, and in the dark. I still fuel the body, but with the whole, natural foods you hinted at when you write about eliminating the processed stuff. Now, 133 pounds lighter on my very grateful feet (not to mention knees), I'm living large instead of being large!"

Go, TLJax! I love that image of divorcing yourself from food that was filled with empty promises (and probably empty calories). I too have had to divorce certain foods, although every once in a while their siren call lures me back. I absolutely cannot keep sweets in the house --- except, inexplicably, chocolate, which I adore but can eat in small increments. And refined carbs of any kind must also be kept at arm's length. If I keep them in the house or make them a regular part of my diet, it's just a matter of time before the slide down the slippery slope takes off. It's better to enjoy them as an occasional treat, when I'm out to dinner or bring leftovers home. My best weight loss happened when my philosophy was to eat the smallest amount of carbs per day that I could get away with.

In his excellent book, The End of Overeating, Dr. David A. Kesseler discusses how the food industry deliberately invites us to "consider any occasion for food an opportunity for pleasure and reward" (p. 80), based on reports that show that consumers feel they deserve more treats and indulgences, and that food is very often seen as a good way to reward oneself. To that end, they strive to make food more than nourishment --- it's an experience.

If you want to divorce yourself from that type of slavery, you have to decline to use food itself as a reward. That doesn't mean depriving yourself, which doesn't work and in fact backfires, but it means not allowing yourself to think of food as the prize you get for (fill in the blank). If you want to indulge yourself, do it because you want an indulgence, but don't fool yourself into thinking you've earned it, not if you are trying to manage your issues with food. You can't bargain with it. Food is fuel, food is nourishment, food is an indulgence --- but you can't "pay" for calories by doing all your homework or cleaning the house on your day off. 

"We need to decide what rewards we want and then have  a plan that helps us control our behavior," explains Dr. Kesseler (p. 255). "...My mental representation of that stimulus and my emotional responses define my behavior to a great extent."

OK, so I don't like his use of the word "reward" in conjunction with food, but I do like his point. Understanding what your challenges are and having a plan in place to deal with them greatly increases your chance of getting the outcome you want. It helps YOU stay in control and make choices that help you reach your goals. And it's all about getting YOU back in control.

So, for me, that means limiting my contact with my "bad boyfriend" foods. That might mean not bringing them in the house and staying away from restaurants that serve them. Divorce, hell! I'm putting out a restraining order against them.

It doesn't mean you can't ever have your bad boyfriend foods, but if you're going to indulge, it's got to be under controlled circumstances. You have them outside your home, and you make a deal with yourself ahead of time as to how much you're going to have. You enjoy every moment of it and then you GO HOME AND EAT SIMPLY for the next several days until you're sure you're still on track. It may sound extreme and a little paranoid, but hey --- there's a good reason for that restraining order and if you spend too much time around that particular food, you will soon remember what it is.

At least, that's how it works for me. Look, no one likes living with the food police. But having been there, I like living without them even less. Besides, who else will enforce that restraining order I just took out against cupcakes?

NOT BUYING IT

A recent New York Times article discusses "functional foods" --- the lastest marketing term for foods being promoted as providing health benefits. Economists call them "credence foods", with good reason ---  all this expensive marketing and branding is meant to make health-concious consumers believe that this particular food not only tastes good, but has special health benefits. And we're all familiar with these claims. Quaker Oats helps lower your cholesterol! Kellogg's Rice Krispies helps support immunity! Frosted Mini-Wheats will make your kid more attentive in class! Think Jamie Lee Curtis and her Activia "probiotic yogurt" ads.

As the Times article and others explain, Dannon has come under fire on more than one occasion for overstating their claims of Activia's benefits; and last December agreed to a settlement with the FTC over charges of deceptive advertising. Other food giants such as Kellogg's and Nestle's have also come under fire in recent years. The FTC found that Kellogg's was making unsubstantiated and misleading claims by stating that Rice Krispies "now helps support your child's immunity" and "has been improved to include antioxidants and nutrients that your family needs to help them stay healthy", and also with Kellogg's claims that Frosted Mini-Wheats improved children's attentiveness by nearly 20%. (It turns out that the study upon which this claim was based involved feeding one group of subjects Frosted Mini-Wheats for breakfast, and the other nothing but water).

Healthy eating is under attack by big business, and consumers have to be more careful than ever. There is simply no substitute for reading labels and understanding nutrition. We cannot afford to hand our health over to the companies that stand to make big profits off of us! Let's just take a look at some of these health claims.

Oats are indeed good for you. 3 grams of soluable fiber a day help significantly lower cholesterol in individuals with high cholesterol, and eating high fiber foods has been shown to lower risk of heart disease. Other studies have shown that oats have special antioxidants; that they can help improve immunity, lower risk of Type 2 diabetes, stabilize blood sugar, and lower risk of breast cancer. (Whole grains in general provide these benefits). But know what you're getting! The much-touted McDonald's oatmeal has 21 ingredients, including modified food starch, caramel color, preservatives and additives, and according to food critic  Mark Bittman,"... has about the same amount of sugar as a Snickers bar, has about the same amount of calories as one of their hamburgers...".

A packet of plain Quaker's Instant Oats contains : WHOLE GRAIN ROLLED OATS, OAT FLOUR, CALCIUM CARBONATE, SALT, GUAR GUM, CARAMEL COLOR, REDUCED IRON, VITAMIN A PALMITATE. It's 100 calories for a 28 g serving, and contains no sugar, so additivies and nonorganic status aside, it's a good nutritional value, especially if you get your sugar from added natural fruits and keep the fat low by using skim milk (or skipping milk entirely).

My current instant oatmeal of choice is Three Sisters' Plain Grain or Dark Chocolate. It has no artificial ingredients of any kind, and although it's not organic (boo!) the company is green and socially conscious, which matters to a hippie like me. I put a little fresh fruit or dried cranberries on mine, and skip the milk. The main thing is, you want to skip the artificial ingredients and added sugar and fat. By choosing a good, plain brand and making oatmeal at home, you can control how much sugar and fat you add as well as the sources of that sugar and fat. Plus, it's cheaper!

I'll skip reviews of Rice Krispies and Frosted Mini-Wheats, neither of which have the slightest appeal to me as a foodstuff, although I will say that in researching this post, I visited the Rice Krispies website. The first thing that popped up was a cute cartoon character pointing to pictures of Rice Krispie Treats, touted as "gluten-free treats!" Well and good, but gluten-free is not code for "healthy". There's a lot of sugar and fat in those treats. And some sugar and fat is ok, as long as you know what and how much you're eating, and understand that a Rice Krispie treat isn't any better for you, nutritionally speaking, than a cookie.

I don't eat a lot of cereal because I prefer to get my carbs other ways, and unless it's whole grain, cereal is a processed food. I full admit and confess to loving Barbara's Bakery products, especially the Shredded Oats Original, but these days I eat them more as a snack than a meal, and even then, I have to be really careful because 1) they're addictive and 2) they're still processed carbs.

But let's move on to yogurt, because those Activia ads have pissed me off for a long time.It's touted as  "probiotic". Well, all yogurts are probiotic. They contain a certain amount of beneficial micro-organisms that aid in digestion. Any yogurt containing live cultures like lactobacillus acidophilus and streptococcus thermophilis is probiotic.Maybe Activia and other probitic brands have a little more, I don't know. I do know that the longer it stays on the shelf, the less effective the probiotics become, which is a good reason to just make it yourself.

There's no question that yogurt is a wonderful healthy food, and when I started out my weight loss project, I ate a bowl of homemade nonfat Greek style yogurt every single day. Yogurt is really easy to make, and it's a whole lot cheaper to make than to buy. And if you don't want to go to the trouble of making it, but you want the thicker Greek style (or yogurt cheese, which is also really good!) you can buy plain, nonfat organic yogurt and just strain it through a cheesecloth bag until it's your desired consistency.

Processed foods, big brand names, fast food --- they're popular for a reason, and that reason is that they are convenient, and relatively cheap. But make no mistake --- you pay for the convenience and savings in other ways. You pay through damage to the environment due to the manner in which big agro raises, harvests,  ships,  processes,and markets its crops. You pay with your health in the long run when you consume artificial ingredients, genetically modified foods, low quality foods, foods which may not contain the benefits and nutritional value that those who are profiting off you would have you believe.

I'm not buying it.

The only answer is to take ownership of your own health. Don't have time to do a lot of reading? It's simple: out of the (let's say) 21 meals and 14 snacks you eat each week, make it a goal for 16-18 of those meals and 8-10 of those snacks to be simple foods, as close to the way they originated as possible. You'll be healthier, wealthier, and probably skinnier.

Now that's a bargain.

 

CHARD LUCK STORY

OK, I lied. I didn't start Week 9 of P90X until today. It was chest/back/abs, which involves a lot of push-ups and pull-ups, and a great deal of pain when it comes to abs. But I am imagining myself having to appear in an I Dream of Jeannie costume for my next show, and that helps me get through the horror of Abs Ripper X --- or as my friend Mark likes to call it, Processing the Meat.

I also got back to my food plan today, and while I'm not going to score 100% on following it, I did trade evenly when I traded foods out. So I feel reasonably virtuous, and happy to be getting back on track. That gorgeous chard above? The first harvest from my garden. Sauteed it with a little garlic and Spanish olive oil, and served it with homemade lentil-forbidden rice-corn burgers for dinner. Mmmm! I'm hoping to get to taste a radish or one of the mini eggplants before I head out again --- the rest of it will be left to my husband, if he remembers to pick it!

My resistance bands and  yoga mat haven't even come out of the suitcase (nor have half my clothes) since I'll be leaving again on Thursday. I still don't know where I will be housed, or what it will be like! I know I won't have a car this time, and I'm wondering if I can buy a cheap bike at Goodwill or on Craigslist that will get me through 5 1/2 weeks. It really sucks not to have a car for that long. But I have already decided that if I don't have wheels, I will run wherever I need to go! Better pack my Camelback ... plus there is excellent hiking in New Jersey, if only I can get to it.

I'm looking at an incredibly busy summer, y'all. As my husband remarked, "Once you leave, you don't get a day off until August!" Well, that's not strictly true --- there will be days off while I'm in Princeton, but once I get off the stage there, I get on a plane and go directly to my next gig (directing my opera workshop, which is pretty much 24/7 while it lasts) and then get on another plane and go directly to my singing engagement after that, another Fille du Regiment.

So I'm thinking now about this pattern of regularly hitting the fitness/eating plan hard, and then sort of losing my way, and then hitting it hard, and losing my way ... is there any way to fix this? There will always be times when I can't work out due to schedule, and there will always be meals where I go off track. It'd be nice if I could get the off track part down to a single meal rather than a week of meals. It seems that regular travel and its accompanying uncertainty are going to be a bigger part of my life, so I'm just going to have to find a way to deal.

Last but not least, 100 Pounds recently got a little shoutout from a commercial site which listed it as one of the "50 Best Blogs for Opera Students".  If you're interested at all in opera, there are some other very good blogs listed there as well. Mine seems to be the only opera/fitness blog!

Tomorrow's plan: P90X Plyometrics first thing. One thing I do know, the workout has to be prioritized every single day.

FROM NOBILITY TO BEARDED LADY, WITH STOPS IN BETWEEN

Home at last! After our final performance, I headed to the airport, traveled all night, got into Austin just in time for a full day of juries (aka final exams for musicians), finals, and a student recital. On Wednesday I gave my last final, graded papers, turned in grades, and completed my six years at St. Edward's University. My association won't completely end until after the summer, when Spotlight on Opera is over, but I will no longer be teaching for the time being. My singing career requires more time. :)

The final performance of Fille du Regiment went well, and I was sorry to say goodbye to my colleagues. (By the way, I did get my costumes and by the time I went on stage, they even fit. Happily, they were too big, not too small --- that's usually easier to fix!). Sorry the pics aren't better --- all I had was my phone.

Act I costume

Act II costume

I'm not here for very long. In one week I'll be on a plane again, this time to New Jersey and the Princeton Festival.  Sad to say, aside from running around finishing up school, I have been a slug. No working out. My eating is a mess. I'm feeling fat and kind of out of control and not very happy with myself, and it's time to put an end to that! So I sat myself down this evening and wrote out a food plan for the first time in weeks, and tomorrow I start Week 9 of P90X. It's a twelve week program altogether, so I will finish it before I leave Princeton, but my plan is to restart immediately and do the cardio-heavy version, which will help with more weight loss.

I also think it's time to start running again -- yaaay! If my hips could handle a very steep four-hour mountain hike, I think they can handle a gentle start into training again. My feet are doing better, too. They aren't 100%, and my guess is they will never be, but why should that hold me back? I just have to be careful. Sadness --- I can't find my beautiful hot pink SPI Belt that my friend Jen gave me in honor of my first-ever 5K. Guess I'll get purple this time. Too bad they don't come with rhinestones. ;)

And in the meantime, I'll be looking for some great hiking opportunities in New Jersey. I may be playing a bearded lady next, but that doesn't mean I can't be a hot bearded lady. Right?

THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO ... OH, WELL

The wardrobe mistress was in tears. My costumes, she told me, would not arrive until Friday. There is nothing she can do about it --- I was a late addition to the cast, she ordered them immediately but the company we're renting from is all backed up, and they simply were  not going to be here.

Friday --- today, my friends --- is opening night. This means I did not get to rehearse in any one of my three costumes, nor did I get to rehearse the rather quick costume change. My usual performance day routine is on its head, as I am waiting to be called for a fitting once they actually get here ... whenever they get here.

As our poor wardrobe mistress told me this --- clearly expecting me to be angry with her --- I felt incredibly calm. It's by no means an ideal situation, and it will probably cause at least some minor issues in the performance. Normally you'd rehearse in full costume, wig, and makeup three or four times before opening night. But ... oh, well. It's not going to happen. I'm a pro, I can deal with it. I gave her a hug, told her not to worry about me, we'd manage, and went on to rehearsal.

Later, it occurred to me that a while back I might not have been so sanguine about the situation, but being more in control of my health and fitness have given me more confidence about being able to handle myself both physically and in situations such as this that arise. It occurred to me that over the past few years, I have been able to largely let go of many fears and insecurities. That's not to say that some of the more deeply-rooted ones don't occasionally rear their heads, often when least expected. But a great side benefit of taking more ownership of my personal health has been simply feeling more capable.

One of the great benefits of losing weight and becoming healthier, and of the learning process it took to get here, is simply realizing that I do have more control over my life than I thought. Being in more control physically makes you feel stronger in every way.

 
A few days ago, I had the opportunity to do some more hiking, much more strenuous than any I've done in quite a while. I hiked up a canyon all the way to the top of the ridge, where there was snow. It was very challenging! On the way up, my glutes and quads were getting quite a workout, and so was my cardiovascular system ... huff and puff, all the way! Coming down, it was so steep that the best way to handle it was to tighten up the core, lean way back, and jog. So the front of my thighs, my core, and strangely, my hips really got a work out. I was afraid I'd be too sore to get out of bed the next morning but as it turned out, the only thing  really sore were my hips (and not the joints, thank goodness, but the muscles). P90X is paying off! And yes, I was tired afterwards, but not done in. It was almost a four hour hike through some pretty rough terrain, and it was GREAT.

I wish I felt as good about my recent eating as I do about my overall fitness, but alas, I can make no such claim. I'll just have to regroup ... again. And again, and again, as often as it takes. Knowing that this is a lifelong struggle for me takes some of the pressure off, in a weird sort of way, and at least I know I can always go back and "fix it".

Oh well. Whatever it takes.

 

LET'S REVIEW!

On Friday morning I was interviewed by a nice young woman named Amanda, on behalf of her company which is creating some sort of digital diet coaching platform designed to"create and maintain behavioral changes by providing education, individual recommendations, support and other tools for a healthier life."  They are talking to various "community leaders" (woo-hoo, I'm a community leader?)  to get feedback. I am not a gadgety person, nor do I have much interest in commercial weight loss tools, but Amanda was nice and the product sounds like it could be helpful to some people, so I agreed to be interviewed.

It was a good review for me. It's been a while since I rehashed my philosophy for anyone. Plus, it's always rather enjoyable, when someone asks how you lost weight and expects a complicated answer, to say simply, "Diet and exercise." I think Amanda may have been a bit disappointed or at least surprised by my lack of commercial tools, but really, so very little is needed to successfully lose weight and get healthier. You need access to a good scale, and something to record your progress on. You need measuring cups and a food scale. You need a mirror. And that's pretty much it. You don't require anything fancy for work outs --- your own body provides everything you need.

What you do need, that you might not have, is information. I've said it before and I'll say it again. The very best thing you can do for your health and fitness is to educate yourself about nutrition. Just because something says on the package  or the restaurant menu that it's healthy or "light" or has 50% less than the leading whatever does NOT make it good for you. Learn what really is good for you, and then figure out how to make it doable for you.

Same with exercise. If you're like me, you just have to start out doing whatever you can stand, as much of it as you can stand. But one day you may well discover that you really LIKE working out, and that you CAN really push yourself harder and enjoy it. You won't enjoy it every time. Some days it will be all you  can do to pry your ass off the couch and go for a twenty minute walk. Some days it will suck, suck, suck. But it will suck a whole lot less when your pants start fitting looser, you discover that you don't really care whether you have to walk up four flights of stairs, and the bathroom mirror reveals some wicked biceps that are going look smokin' in your tank tops this summer.

Doing that interview reminded me about accountability, which is one of the reasons I write this blog. Publicly discussing my struggles, my successes and failures, helps keep me on track. I ate better on Friday and Saturday just because I thought about it. It also helped remind me that I can always get back on track.

So, I got up this morning, I did my P90X Core Synergistics (which is a fun, varied,  but tough workout) and am ready to face the day. I am thinking ahead about the next few months, my new tougher schedule, and how this is going to work.

Thanks to my fabulous new agents, I am booked pretty solidly for the rest of the year. The travel craziness, never knowing what my living situation is going to look like until I get there (and therefore not knowing what food storage and prep or workout space I have), the hectic schedule ... these things are not going to change. For the past couple of months, I have allowed these things to throw me a little, but now it's time to face up to it and just figure out a way to make it work. I need some new guidelines. So that's the next project.

There's always a next step. You just have to find it.