The wardrobe mistress was in tears. My costumes, she told me, would not arrive until Friday. There is nothing she can do about it --- I was a late addition to the cast, she ordered them immediately but the company we're renting from is all backed up, and they simply were not going to be here.
Friday --- today, my friends --- is opening night. This means I did not get to rehearse in any one of my three costumes, nor did I get to rehearse the rather quick costume change. My usual performance day routine is on its head, as I am waiting to be called for a fitting once they actually get here ... whenever they get here.
As our poor wardrobe mistress told me this --- clearly expecting me to be angry with her --- I felt incredibly calm. It's by no means an ideal situation, and it will probably cause at least some minor issues in the performance. Normally you'd rehearse in full costume, wig, and makeup three or four times before opening night. But ... oh, well. It's not going to happen. I'm a pro, I can deal with it. I gave her a hug, told her not to worry about me, we'd manage, and went on to rehearsal.
Later, it occurred to me that a while back I might not have been so sanguine about the situation, but being more in control of my health and fitness have given me more confidence about being able to handle myself both physically and in situations such as this that arise. It occurred to me that over the past few years, I have been able to largely let go of many fears and insecurities. That's not to say that some of the more deeply-rooted ones don't occasionally rear their heads, often when least expected. But a great side benefit of taking more ownership of my personal health has been simply feeling more capable.
One of the great benefits of losing weight and becoming healthier, and of the learning process it took to get here, is simply realizing that I do have more control over my life than I thought. Being in more control physically makes you feel stronger in every way.
A few days ago, I had the opportunity to do some more hiking, much more strenuous than any I've done in quite a while. I hiked up a canyon all the way to the top of the ridge, where there was snow. It was very challenging! On the way up, my glutes and quads were getting quite a workout, and so was my cardiovascular system ... huff and puff, all the way! Coming down, it was so steep that the best way to handle it was to tighten up the core, lean way back, and jog. So the front of my thighs, my core, and strangely, my hips really got a work out. I was afraid I'd be too sore to get out of bed the next morning but as it turned out, the only thing really sore were my hips (and not the joints, thank goodness, but the muscles). P90X is paying off! And yes, I was tired afterwards, but not done in. It was almost a four hour hike through some pretty rough terrain, and it was GREAT.
I wish I felt as good about my recent eating as I do about my overall fitness, but alas, I can make no such claim. I'll just have to regroup ... again. And again, and again, as often as it takes. Knowing that this is a lifelong struggle for me takes some of the pressure off, in a weird sort of way, and at least I know I can always go back and "fix it".
Oh well. Whatever it takes.
I started to make some sport for a week, I have to get rid of some fat on my hips, and I must say that I feel so good, although my muscles hurt so bad, but doesn't matter this means that my exercises work :D I don't eat bread anymore.
Posted by: Miami | May 10, 2011 at 05:25 AM
*bigsquish*
You're fabulous.
Posted by: Karen | May 06, 2011 at 02:53 PM