SLOG AND THINK

Now, no one's saying that the homecoming of Mr. Cindy derailed Boot Camp.  And no one's saying our houseguest Nicholas, who is a foodie and fabulous cook with whom I love to create wonderful meals, mix drinks, and watch vampire porn is to blame, either. Just because we're currently working on creating our own TrueBlood martini does not mean he's a bad influence. No sir.  It's my own fault that I'm easily distracted, and  thus have managed a minor derailment all on my own. Sometimes gettin' back to it is a hard journey, and that's what I'm slogging through right now. I missed a day of workout last week, and had the hardest time making myself do it yesterday. Now here it is 4 p.m. and I haven't done Cardio X yet today ... but at least I am sitting here in my gym clothes ready to go.

The Beck books are sitting by my bed, as yet unread. My food plan, unwritten for the past couple of days, sits on my desk. Just typing those words made me pick it up and write out what I've had so far this day and what I plan for dinner, as well as tomorrow's plan. It's not that my daily eating is so bad; but it's not helping me lose weight, either. But for right now, I am okay with that. Right now, it's enough to be paying attention and working on getting back to the level of scrutiny I need to maintain in order to lose weight. I'm working on making that exercise habit the obsession it once was. This is not sometime I can maintain forever, but right now I need to get back into it for a while. And while I wish I could just dive right back in and have it all be at that "performance level" I once found, the fact is that I'm in a different place in my life now, and must recognize that it's not going to go back to being exactly what it was. That's okay. It's part of the process. The trick is to find what works right now.

While indulging in a major overhaul of my perpetually messy desk-bookshelves-office area, I found my original response cards as well as the fancier ones I later created. They have always resided within arm's reach of my desk, but now I think it's time for one to go back to living in my purse and the other on the kitchen table. If nothing else, I will be forced to look at them and remind myself of their contents before I eat. And that's the next step --- once I feel very firmly rooted in my exercise habit and food plan, I will pay more attention to portions and what exactly I'm eating. I'll work harder on cutting out the "extras" that have crept back in.

In the meantime, a shoutout to longtime reader Tokyo Cowboy, who has started his own blog, The Mayor of Slimville (and hey! I'm the Resident Diva!). Check it out; very stylish and an interesting look at living in a different culture. Also, I love his colorful food journals!

It seems like a number of us have issues with that oh-so-dangerous after dinner zone, especially when you're sitting around with friends and having just one more drink or a little more ice cream seems harmless. I used to be better at stopping than I am now, but I know what I have to do.

It may seem flippant, but I just have to stop for a minute, and think. Before I pour another glass of wine, I need to think hard about trying on jeans. Before I get dessert when I already had one today, I have to think about the fact that I don't even want to get on the scale right now. During my cleanup, I found some old pictures of me and I do not ever, ever want to look like that again --- but if I keep pouring extra glasses and scooping extra scoops, I will.

There are lots of tools for helping me stop and think. My response cards --- a Beck tool --- are one of the most powerful. For them to work, they have to be at hand. Photos are another. A friend recently sent me some photos from a production we did in 2004, and all I could think was that I looked like someone had inflated me with an air pump.

I much prefer this look:

I may not be skinny but at least I have a waist!

So, my strategy today is to put these weapons within reach --- in the kitchen, on my nightstand, in my purse, wherever I can easily lay hand on them to remind myself of my goals and of how the "extras" will obstruct reaching them. I am also currently allowing myself a dessert (my biggest downfall!) every day --- but only one. If I have something sweet at lunch, there's none after dinner. I say to myself, "You already had dessert today and you don't need another one."

My current self-awarded Boot Camp grade is a C, but I have three more days to bring it up. Extra credit, anyone? What should I do for extra credit? ;)

PS. Did my Core Synergistics. Some days, you just have to bitch about it until you get the gumption to make yourself go do it!

Comments

[Tokyocowboy]

Thanks for the shout out! And kudos to you for acknowledging how hard this is and still doing your workout. I'm reporting my second week results. down 7 pounds/3.2kg total (2.2/1kg this week.) But lots of dining out and entertaining challenges coming up. oh well, I will just plan ahead and make sure I hit the GYM.

[rahree]

I have to say that I love hearing about your successes (and they are so fantastic!), but I also love reading about the way you handle struggles. Thanks for not whitewashing...I for one really appreciate it!

[Cindy]

Annette, thanks for this excellent article! It's really thought-provoking and makes a lot of sense. Now the question is ... how to circumvent that mental fatigue? The food plan certainly is useful.

[Annette]

A while ago, thebrowser.com (I'm a huge fan) had a link to this article from The New Republic: http://www.tnr.com/article/environment-energy/89377/poverty-escape-psychology-self-control
In brief, it talks about the psychic costs you incur each time you have to make decisions: about money -- or about eating. I found it fascinating, and it made me understand (finally) why food plans probably are a really good idea for people trying to control their eating -- they cut down on those endless, draining, decisions. (Frozen yoghurt? Red wine? Great, if they are in the food plan. If not, end of story.)
Best of luck to you! Annette