Does anyone else find the current Subway sandwich campaign offensive? I mean, I find fast food in general offensive, although if you HAD to eat fast food, a sandwich from a place like Subway, Potbelly, Jimmy John's or Quizno's would probably be one of the better bets, depending on the choices you made. But what I'm talking about is the current ad campaign in which beautiful women, usually in an office setting, trick some nerd out of his lunch by offering to be his girlfriend.
It's supposed to be cute. The adult voices are manipulated to make them sound like elementary school kids, and the trick itself is juvenile, definitely a grade school manouever. But in every single one of these commercials or radio ads, a pretty woman offers to be a nerdy man's "girlfriend" and then claims his sandwich.
It's never an average or, God forbid, ugly woman, because we all know that wouldn't work, even on a schlumpy guy.
The guy is always a bit of a goof because, you know, if he were good-looking, he'd be running the place and would have already sent the bitch out to buy him a sandwich.
And of course, a beautiful woman couldn't possibly go down to the corner and buy her own damn sandwich. Or get her assistant to do it for her. Because in this particular world, women are at best grown-up "mean girls" and at worst whores for sandwiches, and guys are stupid, easily manipulated, inept nerds.
I mean, really. I like to think I have a pretty good sense of humor and am not easily offended, but for me, this misses the mark. But then, I'm extra sensitive to advertising this time of year, as businesses gear up to try to rev us all up to buy buy buy. I'm sick of it all. I'm sick of all the magazines, television shows, "reality" shows, movies, and yes, advertisements that continually present all of us with an unrealistic standard of living and an equally unrealistic and unattainable standard of beauty --- especially targeting women and girls --- all under the guise of entertainment and information, but with the specific goal of making us feel in some way inadequate so we will go out and spend money, mostly on crap we don't need.
What does this have to do with health and fitness? Quite a lot, actually. Look at any magazine stand and you will see that the publications marketed to women either have to do with beauty or some version of homemaking and/or parenting. The beauty publications are almost all geared towards single women in their twenties and thirties, and even those which are targeted to more mature women and feature some articles with more substance (Marie Claire, More) show impossibly youthful and slender looking models. More --- a magazine I happen to like --- even has a regular feature called "This is what __ looks like", the blank representing the age of the particular woman being featured. Every time I look at it, I think "Not without plastic surgery or really excellent genes". And then of course, there are the endless features of really expensive clothing and makeup. Even having lost weight, most of that designer clothing doesn't come in my size (assuming I could even afford it).
In a way, I'm a little anesthitized to all the fashion stuff, because of two things: one, for most of my life, I couldn't find that clothing in my size; and two, even when I could, most of the time I couldn't afford it. I learned to clamp down hard on my envy and accept that those things weren't for me, and to use my creativity to recreate cheaper, more flattering outfits I liked. I learned to distance myself from it all a little bit.
But as I get older, I find myself just getting more and more tired of it all, and angered by the messages it sends, and maybe that's why this Subway ad has me so up in arms. I have nieces, and I don't like what the world wants to tell them about how they should look and behave in order to have value. I don't want them picking up the hangups so many of us had as kids. For that matter, I don't want all my wonderful nephews developing those attitudes towards women.
And on a whole 'nother scale, I am generally annoyed enough with corporate America right now that I have no intention of buying Christmas presents from anything other than a local business or, preferably, artist. Any presents I give this year will be homemade, or something specifically designed to bring beauty into the world, preferably without having exploited any other human being.
One of my high school friends, Bobby Jo Cash Roberts, makes gorgeous stained glass art. Several friends of mine have recently released CDs. DC Anderson and I were in Phantom of the Opera together waaay back in the day; he still tours, but he also has a whole catalogue of fantastic cabaret-style music, much of it original. He has a new Christmas CD out called All is Calm, All is Bright. I went to college with bass-baritone Marcus Nance and have always been a fan of his smooth, sexy sound; he's going to be on Broadway soon in Jesus Christ Superstar! My colleague baritoneTodd Thomas, who I have sung with on numerous occasions, has just re-released an album of Christian music called Crown Him Lord of All; it's available directly from Todd, and if you're interested, comment and I will get you his contact info. Last but not least, another baritone colleague (what is it about me and baritones? Love those sexy low voices!), Craig Irvin, has released his first self-titled album, Craig Irvin: An American Baritone. Any of these would be unique, beautiful gifts and they would benefit their creators directly, with very little (if any) going to a middleman.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get back into the holiday spirit by putting on some tunes and carrying on with the ridiculously extravagant and ever-so-slightly tacky decoration of my home (all old stuff, mostly inherited from childhood, thank you very much). And I will not be eating any sandwiches. Bah, humbug.
"Wonder wonder wonder, why are we so determinedly perfectionistic about our appearance? Why hold on so tightly so rigidly to such a narrow impossibility of form?
You really have achieved so very very much, an incredible life with success in so many areas, I hope you (and all of us) can celebrate ourselves more often and focus on minor faults less often."
First, Jan, thanks for your kind words. And also, for your wise reminder. What a great way to phrase it --- "celebrate ourselves". I agree with you about the fruitless pursuit of perfection, rigid views about what we should look like, and focusing on minor faults while failing to celebrate our victories.
But this is part of the ongoing struggle. There's a difference between a realistic desire to be as healthy and fit as you can, and an unrealistic desire for a woman over 40 who has never been thin and isn't planning on hundreds of thousands of dollars' worth of surgery to look like a hardbodied teenager. There's a difference between wanting to be a size 12/14 and a size 0.
It's always been very important to me to be realistic about my goals --- I believe that in order to hav real success in long term major weight loss, it's critical to be realistic about your goals and what your body can achieve. So when I embarked on this journey, I did not set a goal weight. I promised myself that I would pay attention to my body and see where it started to "max out" on weight loss, the point at which it became so painful and difficult to lose that the struggle wasn't worth it. Where would my body be happy?
And when I got there, neither the number on the scale nor on the clothing tags were quite as low as I would have liked them to be. I really wanted to lose about another thirty pounds. But people kept saying to me, "No! Don't lose any more, you look great now!" And as it turned out, without drastic measures (which are impossible to maintain) I couldn't have lost any more, and I was pretty happy overall at that weight.
So fast forward a couple of years, and although I've continued to work out and am generally in much better shape than I was before, a goodly amount of poundage has crept back on, and I'm not pleased with that. Does this mean my past achievements suddenly don't count, or that I want to be perfect (whatever that means)? Not at all. I just want to stay healthy and feel comfortable in my body.
See, this is the tricky thing about maintenance. It's not like you land on a magic number and poof, home base, you're done. It's more like standing on a fence post and trying very hard not to fall off! As with all things in life, it's about balance. I am not sorry that I spent two years of my life literally working my ass off. It required a laser beam focus and a lot of extra time --- time and a focus I can no longer maintain with that intensity. This to me does not represent a failure, but an entry into a different phase of life. I struggled for years to find a way to lose weight and keep it off, to find a way of eating that worked for me, to get to the point where exercise could be a regular part of my life without being completely onerous --- and I found it. But it shouldn't surprise me now that I have to work just as hard to find out whatever it takes to keep me on track for the long term. Mainly, I suspect, it's nothing glamourous --- just lots of little decisions every day.
So, I appreciate posts like Jan's very much ---- a great reminder to be grateful for and mindful of past achievements, and to keep focused on the good. Still, in my mind, I'm not ready to come off the fence post. As hard as it is sometimes, finding the balance is worth it. And so is the view.