BATTLING DECISION FATIGUE

It's not exactly accurate to say I've been lazy since I got home from Kentucky, what with all the Thanksgiving shopping and cooking, rehearsals for a duet concert and two performances last weekend, a quick three-day trip to New York for an audition, rehearsing my opera troupe for their upcoming Opera Scenes Showcase program, teaching, and preparing for another quick audition trip (for which I got up at 4 this morning), getting back just in time to race to the dress rehearsal and two performances over the weekend. But I feel lazy and guilty, because I have not worked out.

I'm tired of feeling guilty about not working out. I want to work out; and I want to lose about thirty pounds from where I am now, and call it a day. I think about this every day, frequently. As I struggle with the puzzle of why it's so hard for me to conquor eating and exercise issues, I'm now toying with the idea that part of the problem is decision fatigue.

This is not the latest in one-size-fits-all excuses.  In August 2011, John Tierney of The New York Times reported on this new development in the findings of social psychologist Roy F. Baumeister, who built on a Freudian hypothesis to develop the theory of ego depletion.

"No matter how rational and high-minded you try to be, you can’t make decision after decision without paying a biological price. It’s different from ordinary physical fatigue — you’re not consciously aware of being tired — but you’re low on mental energy. The more choices you make throughout the day, the harder each one becomes for your brain, and eventually it looks for shortcuts, usually in either of two very different ways, " Tierney explains.

It makes sense. Just think about how you feel at the beginning of a shopping trip. You're excited, or at least energized. After you've hit one or two stores, though, it's a lot less fun and a lot more work. You're overwhelmed with stimuli and ... well, with having to make choices. Which is better? Which is cheaper? Which will last longer? Which looks the best? Is it really worth it to drive across town to the other location to get the color you want and save $10? What ends up happening, according to the studies, is that towards the end of the process, people will just grab anything.

Think about the implications for dieters. We're constantly making decisions to eat, not to eat, what to eat, how much of it. (Tierney's fascinating article addresses decision fatigue and dieters at length). The more decisions we have to make, the more fatigued we get, and our resistance to temptation is also depleted. And doesn't that "grab anything" scenario sound familiar?

So how to get around it? I think one thing that helped me in the past was to limit choices. This is one reason the food plan works better than a food diary --- you plan ahead, at a time when you are not emotionally invested in what you will or will not eat. You do have to firmly remind yourself that today, right now, you will only eat what is written in your food plan. And then, too, it helps to march past the pastry case and not even look. But for me, at least, a food plan's greatest value is in relieving some of the pressure. And it's the same for exercise. Writing the exercise into that plan, making it a given of any day, scheduling a specific slot for it ahead of time, removes the necessity to make a decision because it has already been made. Sure, it's a mental trick, but if that's what it takes to get me to the gym, that's what I have to do.

But I also think it's time for me to do some real work on letting go of guilt and shame surrounding my success or failure with exercise and diet. One of the things that's been keeping me from doing P90X lately is because it is a really intensive program that requires working out for about an hour and a half six days a week. For several years I worked out every day, and was very happy to do so, but I just can't do that right now. It's quite difficult for a "civilian" such as myself to sustain that kind of a schedule; and I have to be honest and admit that, at least right now, I don't have the mental or physical stamina, or really even the time. I hope I'll get back to that level. But for now, I am making a conscious effort to let go of that ideal which is not currently sustainable for me. It's kind of painful, actually. But I think it's better to acknowledge this and find a plan that  is sustainable than to continue to bash my head against the (gym) wall.

So. I'm going to shoot for working out an hour a day four to five times a week. I plan to start P90X again, but I will do it every other day, and on alternate days I'll run or walk or do something else. I'm not going to introduce any new diet principles, but just try to stick to what I already know works --- limiting carbs and sweets, watching portion size, keeping it healthy (which for me means mostly veggies on any given plate).

I hope that I can do this without (further!) relaxing the principles that helped me lose weight in the first place.  That's one of my fears; but then, I already worry about this all the time, so I might as well experiment, right?

Comments

[Cindy]

Hey Melanie-- thanks for the encouragement! Yogaglo sounds cool. I really miss doing yoga regularly. I tried YogaOnline for a while but found it a little hard to navigate, and also a lot of the classes were really long. But a 20 minute class here and there sounds DIVINE! I will definitely check it out.

[Melanie]

I have no words of wisdom about this, except to say that you are TIRED -- and that's okay! Your life, with the demands of artistic energy and lots of travel, teaching, etc., makes many demands on you. P90X is grueling -- energizing if you're having a nice, relaxed summer, perhaps, but like being yelled at by a drill seargeant when you are already stretched to your limit. A nice, meandering walk, with a few yoga stretches, might feel better until you feel you have more mental reserves. Yogaglo, an amazing on-line yoga studio, has hundreds of restorative classes, and you can choose any time duration you want. I find it's the perfect thing on days when I can't exercise -- 20 minutes or so before bed is really wonderful. www.yogaglo.com. Be good to yourself -- sometimes I lose weight when I take my foot off the gas pedal a little bit and feel less programmed, rather than more. Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly!

[Cindy]

Hi Annette! Good to hear from you again. It *is* sometimes hard to come here and 'fess up to what a hard time I'm having ... but it seems to be part of the journey, and something that must be figured out for long term success. Also, a number of people have written privately to say they go through the same thing, so I hope that my own struggles will help them.

Alas, Doris! I miss her! My husband and I are both self-employed, and when the economy tanked, like most people we had to cut back, so no personal trainer for me. Workout buddies are a great idea but I travel so frequently that it's hard to coordinate any kind of standing date. Gym membership is out for the same reason --- I have not been able to find a place that is convenient, decent, and will allow me to pay by the month. So for now, I'm sticking with things I can do on my own, anywhere, with a minimum of equipment, like running and P90X.

Thanks for the recs on the blog --- I look forward to checking it out.

[Annette]

Hi Cindy, Thank you for being so honest about documenting the on-going struggle; struggling and, on top of that, writing about it must be hard sometimes. Decision fatigue makes total sense to me, and your shopping example is a good one. (That's why I now do a lot of online clothes buying -- makes me a lot less grumpy and exhausted.) Re exercise: what happened to Doris, your personal trainer? Perhaps it would help you get back into the swing of things if you teamed up with her again? I know it helps me to have a standing, scheduled date with a neighbor for a brisk walk. When she cancels on me (rare, fortunately) I don't go...
Alice Bradley's blog "Write Anyway" has looked into the importance of ritual for writing (but really, for anything that seems threatening or plain unpleasant). Interestingly enough, she chooses Twyla Tharp's way of getting herself out of the house and to the studio:
http://blogs.babble.com/babble-voices/alice-bradley-write-anyway/2011/11/08/the-importance-of-ritual/
Check it out -- and maybe you'll be treating yourself to a cab -- or to a personal trainer. Because you're worth it. (Thank you, L'Oreal.)