I'm having a sort of crappy day, energy-wise, and it really pisses me off. Everything's been great for a week, and bam! Today is a weepy, fatigued day, and I don't feel up to walking, which makes me mad. It's got to be hormonal. But I'm going to try not to stress about it; instead, I made an appointment to see my gynecologist, and next week I have a physical scheduled. It's pretty cold today anyway, so I'll stay in and ride the stationary bike later.
Meanwhile, there's been some great inspiration floating around the interwebs today. I love this post from Joshilyn Jackson, especially since I am usually the fattest girl in yoga class (even after having lost weight), and I especially love that my skinny Bikram-lovin' friend Chuck is the one who posted in on his FaceBook status, bringing it to my attention. I don't practice yoga as often as I'd like, but one of the things I was kind of thrilled to figure out about myself after years of Fat Yoga followed by Not So Fat Yoga is that my bendiness and/or ability to easily accomplish certain asanas has a lot less to do with how much weight I'm carrying and a lot more with how my body is put together. I've always been pretty bendy. On a good day, I can touch my nose to my knees from a standing position, and I can do the splits, and I could do them when I weighed over 300 pounds. My downward dog is great, despite chronically tight hamstrings. But I have never, ever been able to do that thing where you jump your feet up next to your hands or step your leg through to runner's pose. I can do a great, low lunge from a standing position, but I can't step through very far --- I always have to put a hand on my ankle and move the foot up, which if you practice yoga regularly, is SO ANNOYING. I always thought this was due to my fatness, but now I know that it's because I am simply not flexible through the hips, not in that direction. Anyway, this article was a great reminder that WE ARE NOT OUR FAT. It doesn't rule us and it doesn't have to limit us, if we don't let it.
In a world where we are so often reminded of our imperfections, mostly as a way to make us BUY MORE STUFF, I found this video not only funny but inspiring.
Don't get me wrong; I like makeup as much or more than the next girl; I get my hairs did; I love mani/pedis and facials and fancy shower gels and creams that promise all sorts of things but don't really do much more than feel and smell good; and quite honestly, at this point if I could afford to have everything that sagged tightened up, I'd totally do it. There's nothing wrong in trying to look your best. But there is something wrong in being desperate about it. All this stuff should be FUN and if it's not, it's not worth doing. Besides which, if you are over 40 your goal should not be to look young --- it should be to look fresh. Current, age-appropriate clothes and makeup, complexion glowing from drinking lots of water and plenty of fresh air and exercise, a good attitude, and lots of interests in life and the people around you will make you beautiful and fascinating until the day you die.
You are enough. Don't let anybody --- especially people who are trying to get in your pants (to get your wallet, or anything else, for that matter) --- tell you otherwise.
Love your thoughts on this!
Posted by: Heidi | January 16, 2012 at 07:45 AM
Its nice to read about others thoughts and experience with the battle. You sound like a strong confident person i'm sure you will succeed.
Posted by: Michael | January 13, 2012 at 08:26 AM
You. Are. Fabulous. I thought you were fabulous before you lost weight. I admire your constant ability to continue through whatever plateau or struggle or stress you experience. You are one of the most inspiring, beautiful people I know.
Posted by: Leah | January 12, 2012 at 03:36 PM