The Next Hundred Pounds

DINE'N'DIET!

Well, it’s crunch week. We started off on Sunday with a trip to the opera, where I was listening (not singing this time!) but was very gratified to see a number of friends that I hadn’t seen in months, and get a big reaction. I got to visit with the fabulous, glamourous pianist who played rehearsals a year ago when I was in New Orleans, Miss Dottie. Miss D and I used to meet in the teensy tiny workout room at the hotel, and gab while we took turns on the wobbly elliptical and screechy treadmill; but hey, it made the time pass! This time a year ago, I was down about thirty pounds, and now I’m down almost a hundred more from that! So Miss D was quite surprised at the change.

After the opera, we met friends at an Italian restaurant, which I knew was going to be a big challenge. This is a chain that offers family style meals, but they do have a couple of things on the healthier side, and in researching their menu, I discovered something really cool: HealthyDiningFinder.com.

This is a site developed by the Healthy Dining Program, in conjunction with the National Restaurant Association and the Center for Disease Control. Restaurants can register with the site, and cooperate with a staff of nutritionists who identify menu items which meet the program’s standards for healthy dining. Diners can then search for restaurants from fast food chains to high end local eateries for healthier choices on the menus.

The site is a great idea, though its usefulness is currently limited in scope by the relatively small number of registered restaurants. A search for my area yielded about 18 restaurants, mostly fast food joints or chains where I would never set foot. And the healthy menu choices are pretty depressing; mostly chicken salads. But there are a few surprises. The Italian place offered a frutta di mare which was delicious and pretty healthy, although I still don’t believe they really served us the whole wheat pasta I requested. Plus, you have to police your portion size pretty strictly. But as more restaurants register (or if life is not worth living if you can’t eat at Burger King every once in a while), HealthyDiningFinder.com could turn out to be a real find for dieting diners.

Tomorrow (the 18th) is our anniversary (eight years). Originally, we wanted to go hiking at Lost Maples State Natural Area, home to the most fall color you’ll see in Texas, but unfortunately it’s an overnight trip and since I leave for a week in San Antone on Friday, another overnighter was just not in the cards. There’s just too much to do, including getting my dresses hemmed, teaching a bunch of rescheduled voice lessons, and helping the local Girl Scout troop out with their Stage Makeup Merit Badge. So, we’re opting to relax instead and get a massage, followed by dinner at one of our favorite local seafood places. But, you see where this is heading --- a LOT of eating out this week, and Thanksgiving nearly upon us! And I still don’t know what the situation with the hotel is going to be. It seems I must call in the morning to ascertain the availability of a mini-fridge, which would make my life easier; though I could always make do with a cooler. I’ve done it before, and since we’re driving to San Antonio, packing is not an issue. I intend to go in full diva mode, complete with train of bellboys. Ahem.

I do know that the hotel has workout facilities, and San Antonio is a walking-friendly city (in places, at least). So I’ll be covered there. This is important, because I read a blurb in Health Magazine about a study done at the University of Pittsburgh, which states that women who lose 10% of their body weight (I’ve lost 40%) have to exercise 55 minutes a day, five days a week to maintain their loss.  The study subjects who were successful in maintaining their weight losses kept the training schedule up for two years.  Yikes! I’d better step it up; I’ve been slacking ever so slightly lately, and we can’t have that. I want to EAT on Turkey Day!

KEEPING THE WIN

Hurrah! The scale is being much more cooperative this month and showed me a new low this morning. This puts me at a total of 123.9 pounds down, and 34 to go to reach my goal. No doubt yesterday’s metabolism boost helped a lot. I did a full hour on the elliptical yesterday, and it felt really good (except for the fact that my favorite section of the paper was missing … some annoying person keeps removing ALL of that particular section from the various copies of the paper provided by my gym).  Then, Eric and I did our usual walk (aka The Loop, an hour-and-twenty minute jaunt around the trail) complete with 100 crunches and 45 tricep dips. Banish the bingo wings!

This evening, we are going out to dinner at a favorite seafood place.  It’s an unexpected indulgence, meaning I didn’t get to plan for it days in advance, so I am going to try to eat very modestly for the next two days, having several small snacks throughout the day rather than meals. I want to enjoy myself at dinner! I’m cutting out calories at each meal/snack rather than skip eating altogether. For example, for breakfast this morning, I had my usual yogurt and fruit, but I left out the nuts (saving close to 200 calories right there). For lunch, I plan to fill up on carrot sticks and eat smaller portions of everything else. The dinner tonight will have lots of hidden fat and salt, so I want to cut that out as much as possible the rest of the day. I am also going to do two short but intense exercise sessions; a half hour on the elliptical this morning, and a walk with crunches in the evening.

We went to this particular restaurant about this time last year. I had been on Beck for about a month and it was one of our first indulgence meals. I wore my favorite fire-engine red wrap dress, long since passed on to another young diva, but at the time it made me feel tres sexy. According to my journal, I ate a little past fullness, but was back on track the next day. This time, I really will make an effort not to eat past fullness.

A year later, my overall strategy hasn’t changed much; it’s worked so far! Wearing a great dress is part of it. Dressing up makes you feel special, and is a reward in itself, especially if the dress is a smaller size.  I am going to wear that gorgeous teal cocktail dress (smallest size in my closet right now) to remind myself of how far I’ve come and how much I enjoy being slimmer.

We’ve already discussed splitting an appetizer and dessert, and I am planning on bringing home part of my meal. Eric said, “Of course, it’s easy to say that now”, but I have found that if I go into a tempting situation with a battle plan, I am much more likely to refrain from overdoing it.  If I were not still trying to lose weight, it wouldn’t be a big deal; I probably wouldn’t undertake any stringent measures. But I am still battling the scale down, bit by bit, and I don’t want to lose headway. There’s travel coming up at the end of the month; I have to be prepared.

As I move closer to my goal, I have begun to become aware that there are going to be changes. I will always have to be vigilant about my weight; what I don’t know is how vigilant. My trainer says I will not need to eat as much food at a lower weight, and that worries me because I’m pretty happy with the amount I’m eating right now and would find it difficult to cut back even more. Also, I’m pretty happy with the amount of time I am devoting to exercise on a daily basis. I might have to learn to work out more efficiently, though, and burn more calories in the same amount of time.

On the one hand, I feel that my new habits are pretty well entrenched. I don’t eat as much. It’s rare that I overeat. I make much better choices and am mostly happy with them.  I don’t miss eating at fast food places, but I would like to be able to eat out once in a while without worrying about the impact on the scale --- and that’s one thing that being on maintenance will do.

On the other hand, I feel that it would be easy to let my habits slip. It's easy to get distracted, to tell yourself "it doesn't matter just this once". But Just This Once becomes Just This Twice and pretty soon it's Just This Fortieth Time and then you're back to square one.

I am very determined that that is not going to happen. Even skinny people have to watch what they eat. Even skinny people have to make choices. It may be harder for me to make the healthier choice, but I can do it. Maintaining my success is going to be a little bit of work every single day of my life, and some days I will do it better than others. But perfection should never be the goal, only persistence.

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PASSINGS

The end of September is a very significant time of year for me.

September 25, 2008 was the one-year anniversary of my starting Beck. It was a tough time. One of my very dearest and closest friends had been in the hospital for most of the month, and was not doing well. I was struggling with whether I should try to go from my audition trip in New York to visit him in Sarasota. One of the last times we spoke, I asked if he wanted me to come, and he said, “I would hate to never see you again.” But now he was unconscious, intubated, and I didn’t know whether the family would welcome me or if I’d be in the way.

I was just beginning a voice lesson when Gary’s agent phoned me to tell me the awful news that my funny, handsome, brilliant, loyal, aggravating, talented, phenomenal friend had passed away. Of course, I cried. I called my husband. My wonderful voice teacher, Gregory, suggested we cancel, but more than anything, I wanted to sing. I asked to work on the gorgeous Lux Aeternam from my favorite work, the Verdi Requiem. The Verdi was the last piece Gary and I sang together (you can hear me sing it here; unfortunately, not with Gary. As far as I know, there is no recording of that performance).

What I did not do, thanks to Beck, was medicate with food. I ate on plan, and I lost weight. Gary would have been proud. I didn’t do this for him, or for anyone or any reason other than it’s what I need and what I want, but he would have been proud. You see, ever since we met, Gary had been a little on the chunky side himself, until the last few years of his life when he completely remade his body and became a personal trainer. He was in the best shape of his life at the time of his death, when I was at my worst, and he had been gently encouraging me to do something about it.

On September 25, 2007, I picked up the Beck Diet Solution for the first time and, in a matter of speaking, have never put it down. Today, one year later (and just back from a four-day trip to New York!), I have lost one hundred and twenty pounds and come down at least six dress sizes. I am in very good shape, getting better all the time. I have muscle tone. I have endurance. The back pain I used to wake up with every morning is gone. My knees haven't gone on strike for a year. My diabetes is almost 100% reversed. But most importantly, I am in control of my eating and my food cravings.  To paraphrase an old dieting chestnut, no food tastes as good as this feels.

Oh. And when I mentioned to Eric that it was the one-year anniversary of my being on Beck, he said, “Great! Let’s celebrate! How about a cheeseburger? Let’s stuff our pieholes!”

Naughty boy!

August Photo ... what a difference a year makes!

The August photo is now up. Let's compare with this time last year, shall we?
      

August 2007

 

August 2008                              

I'm still a good chunk away from my goal, but looking at these pictures really helps me stay inspired. This month I am recommitting myself to my program. I'm re-reading Beck, a chapter a day, and every chapter inspires me anew. I've written a bunch of new response cards and part of my recommitment is to read them every day, something I had gotten away from. Reading them again really helps keep me on track and recognize the tiny ways I'd been slipping.

Slipping is a natural part of the process, and addressing the slippage is something I will have to do all my life. Long-term major weight loss is a lifestyle I must commit to wholeheartedly. If I want to be slender, I will never be able to eat with abandon --- nature gave me many gifts, but a body and metabolism that can eat freely are not among them. I am much happier now that I have accepted that and found a sustainable, non-painful way to deal with it. Which is to say that, as commenter Beach Bum has been wont to note, some days you choose one pain over another. It's not that this process is without painful choices at times, but overall it is manageable and do-able and sustainable, and the rewards far outweigh the sacrifices ... for me. You have to find the thing that works for you, and it won't necessarily be the same.

The response card that is really speaking to me today is a new one I wrote:

STOP AND THINK BEFORE ANY FOOD GOES IN THE MOUTH.

And this one:

I MUST BE ON GUARD AGAINST FOOLING MYSELF.
EVERY SINGLE TIME I PUT FOOD IN MY MOUTH, IT COUNTS AND IT MATTERS.

I can't wait to see what I will look like this time next year. :)