The Next Hundred Pounds

THE WAR AGAINST WILTING WILLPOWER

Many thanks to longtime reader Annette for the link to this article,  and for pointing out its correlation to dieting. Although the article itself addresses the question of why it is so difficult to escape poverty, it discusses in detail the psychology of self-control, including some interesting studies. In a nutshell, writes author Jamie Holmes, "Willpower seems to be a depletable resource". She quotes a researcher from Case Western University, Roy Baumeister, who found that "After you exert self-control in any sphere at all, like resisting dessert, you have less self-control at the next task." Additionally, the researchers found that any decision requiring a tradeoff (such as skipping bread so you can have dessert) also wears down our willpower for future decisions.

The article suggests that the poor must constantly make difficult decisions, resulting in mental fatigue and actually reducing willpower and the ability to make good decisions. Every decision is more consequential to the poor, because it costs them more in terms of money and resources.

It's easy to see how this applies to those of us struggling with weight and health. We have to make dozens of decisions every day about what and how much to eat, and anyone who does this for any length of time, even successfully, realizes that it does indeed get  very tiring.

The question is, how can we circumvent the mental fatigue and reduction in the potency of our willpower, especially since we know we're going to face these decisions every single day?

Annette suggested, and I think she's right, that the food plan is one way to go about it. I've been a big fan of Dr. Beck's food plan idea from day one, and I think it has significant advantages over the traditional food log. Here's the difference: a food log or journal is simply a record of what you've eaten on a particular day. It is supposed to help by keeping you accountable. I have never liked them because they seem to me to have a punitive nature --- you MUST report what you ate, you pig! --- and because they seem to me to take control/ownership away from you. They are reactionary instead of being pro-active.

A food plan, on the other hand, gives you a roadmap which YOU create. You can choose what foods to eat, when, and how much. You are in control. And all you have to do is write it every day and follow your plan. It takes the last-minute decision making out of the picture, because you have ALREADY made a decision about what to eat, and you have ALREADY made a decision to follow that plan. You may have to remind yourself, firmly, that you have made this decision, but it's kind of like arguing with a little kid. This is what we said we'd do, and we are going to do it. This is how we do things.

Another way to bolster that willpower is through constant reminders about what your goals are and why you want to reach them --- such as the lists of reasons why you want to lose weight and your written responses to the excuses your brain comes up with. It's really important to keep these things at hand and use them to reinforce your decision to be healthier as often as it takes. And it will take many, many repetitions.

I know that these things work. They're how I've lost weight in the past. The trick for me seems to be coming up with new, creative delivery systems, because even the best reminders can lose their power after a while. You've got to make it as easy on yourself as possible to have success  by planning, by reminding, by keeping your tools at hand, and by taking yourself out of trigger situations. And you just have to repeat as necessary. No one's going to have a one hundred percent success rate; it's not about that. It's about keeping at it. Every moment is a new opportunity.

And now, if you'll excuse me ... I have to write my food and exercise plan for tomorrow.  I did well today -- stayed on plan despite frozen yogurt temptation, and did my cardio. Tomorrow's workout includes the dreaded Abs Ripper but I will just crunch away, imagining that the sweat is fat cells melting off my body! Or as someone once told me, "That's not sweat, that's your fat cells crying!" And I will make them howl!

SLOG AND THINK

Now, no one's saying that the homecoming of Mr. Cindy derailed Boot Camp.  And no one's saying our houseguest Nicholas, who is a foodie and fabulous cook with whom I love to create wonderful meals, mix drinks, and watch vampire porn is to blame, either. Just because we're currently working on creating our own TrueBlood martini does not mean he's a bad influence. No sir.  It's my own fault that I'm easily distracted, and  thus have managed a minor derailment all on my own. Sometimes gettin' back to it is a hard journey, and that's what I'm slogging through right now. I missed a day of workout last week, and had the hardest time making myself do it yesterday. Now here it is 4 p.m. and I haven't done Cardio X yet today ... but at least I am sitting here in my gym clothes ready to go.

The Beck books are sitting by my bed, as yet unread. My food plan, unwritten for the past couple of days, sits on my desk. Just typing those words made me pick it up and write out what I've had so far this day and what I plan for dinner, as well as tomorrow's plan. It's not that my daily eating is so bad; but it's not helping me lose weight, either. But for right now, I am okay with that. Right now, it's enough to be paying attention and working on getting back to the level of scrutiny I need to maintain in order to lose weight. I'm working on making that exercise habit the obsession it once was. This is not sometime I can maintain forever, but right now I need to get back into it for a while. And while I wish I could just dive right back in and have it all be at that "performance level" I once found, the fact is that I'm in a different place in my life now, and must recognize that it's not going to go back to being exactly what it was. That's okay. It's part of the process. The trick is to find what works right now.

While indulging in a major overhaul of my perpetually messy desk-bookshelves-office area, I found my original response cards as well as the fancier ones I later created. They have always resided within arm's reach of my desk, but now I think it's time for one to go back to living in my purse and the other on the kitchen table. If nothing else, I will be forced to look at them and remind myself of their contents before I eat. And that's the next step --- once I feel very firmly rooted in my exercise habit and food plan, I will pay more attention to portions and what exactly I'm eating. I'll work harder on cutting out the "extras" that have crept back in.

In the meantime, a shoutout to longtime reader Tokyo Cowboy, who has started his own blog, The Mayor of Slimville (and hey! I'm the Resident Diva!). Check it out; very stylish and an interesting look at living in a different culture. Also, I love his colorful food journals!

It seems like a number of us have issues with that oh-so-dangerous after dinner zone, especially when you're sitting around with friends and having just one more drink or a little more ice cream seems harmless. I used to be better at stopping than I am now, but I know what I have to do.

It may seem flippant, but I just have to stop for a minute, and think. Before I pour another glass of wine, I need to think hard about trying on jeans. Before I get dessert when I already had one today, I have to think about the fact that I don't even want to get on the scale right now. During my cleanup, I found some old pictures of me and I do not ever, ever want to look like that again --- but if I keep pouring extra glasses and scooping extra scoops, I will.

There are lots of tools for helping me stop and think. My response cards --- a Beck tool --- are one of the most powerful. For them to work, they have to be at hand. Photos are another. A friend recently sent me some photos from a production we did in 2004, and all I could think was that I looked like someone had inflated me with an air pump.

I much prefer this look:

I may not be skinny but at least I have a waist!

So, my strategy today is to put these weapons within reach --- in the kitchen, on my nightstand, in my purse, wherever I can easily lay hand on them to remind myself of my goals and of how the "extras" will obstruct reaching them. I am also currently allowing myself a dessert (my biggest downfall!) every day --- but only one. If I have something sweet at lunch, there's none after dinner. I say to myself, "You already had dessert today and you don't need another one."

My current self-awarded Boot Camp grade is a C, but I have three more days to bring it up. Extra credit, anyone? What should I do for extra credit? ;)

PS. Did my Core Synergistics. Some days, you just have to bitch about it until you get the gumption to make yourself go do it!

COCONUT CHICKEN AND THE GOVERNMENT'S NEW "PLATE"

What do you think of the USDA's new icon for the 2010 Dietary Guidelines? More importantly, what do you think about the 2010 Dietary Guidelines?  I think this is a nice departure from the traditional pyramid --- and I never agreed with the USDA's food pyramid, which I felt was heavily influenced by various lobbies. The plate icon is much easier to grasp, and I think it's on the right track, though still problematic. For one thing, although you do get a sort of "big picture" of what your meal should look like, you still have some reading to do to get portion sizes. That's not an issue for me, but for a lot of people, if they look at all, all they are going to look at is the icon. So I think it could perhaps give the ounces in a serving size: 1 ounce for grains, 8 ounces for dairy, 1 piece of fruit, 1 cup of veggies, 4 ounces of protein. Still very general guidelines, but more informative than the graphic alone.

At a glance, I get that fruit and veggies should make up half your daily diet and grains and proteins the other half. It's hard to tell how dairy fits in, proportion-wise, from the graphic. It looks like an "extra". Veggies are slightly bigger than fruit and protein, but about the same size as grain. Fruits and proteins look to be about the same size. I think that to get the message acros, they should have exaggerated the portions more --- veggies should be predominant, and grains much smaller.

If you visit the MyPlate.gov website, you'll see at a glance that they are offering some very good general tips for balancing your meals. They suggest eating what you like, but a little less. They encourage you to switch to lowfat milk and make sure at least half your grains are whole grains (we all know it should be 100% whole grain, but that probably isn't realistic for the average American who doesn't know much about nutrition to begin with and normally eats nothing but processed food). And once you go into detail with their suggestions, they are good. It's a much more balanced view of nutrition than what's been taught in the past, although I still think it's too heavy on carbs. But, after all, this is a guideline for a normal, healthy person who is only trying to maintain their current weight.  All in all, I think it's an improvement over the old food pyramid.

A while back, a friend gave me a subscription to Eating Well Magazine, and while I always enjoy perusing the recipes, this month's is chock-full of great ways to use kale. Kale is delicious and chock-full of health benefits, so  I can't wait to try these recipes out. Incidentally, there are lots of kale fans out there --- my Sweet Summer Kale Salad post gets regular hits and even a link back from this blog (which features even more recipes).

As long as we're on about recipes, I made something so easy and SO GOOD today! Wilted Spinach  Salad with Coconut "Chicken".  I had some leftover light coconut milk and a couple of soy protein patties (the ones I use to make Mock Chicken Salad). I marinated them in the coconut milk with some garam masala, cooked it up in a frying pan, where it forms a nice little crust, and tossed them on top of as pile of fresh spinach with a handful of wasabi edamame, my latest passion. MMMM! Pour any extra coconut milk over the spinach to wilt it slightly and give you an amazing "salad".  And if you're not into soy, some chicken breast or chicken-style seitan will work just as well.

Today, I am proud of myself for sticking to my food plan, especially in the face of temptation and hunger. I stopped off at Whole Foods to pick up a couple of things, right around lunch time, but I was able to pass up the free cheese samples and instead munched on a bag of baby carrots until I could get home and eat my planned lunch. Later, out running errands in the stifling heat, I managed NOT to stop for frozen yogurt. And while today was a day off P90X, I did get in my "extra" workout, half an hour on the bike. Sleazy TV helps so much with that. ;)

I feel pretty good about Week One of ReBoot Camp; but I know I can do better. I can stick to my food plan better overall, and now that my Beck books are back home, I plan to start revisting the program in earnest. So stay tuned!

 

SUIT UP AND BOOT UP!

What started this whole thing, really, was Boot Camp. A few years ago I had a blog on LiveJournal, and a group of LJ buddies and I started encouraging each other in our health, career, and organizational goals with this thing we called Boot Camp. We'd pick a period of time during which we planned to go at whatever we thought needed going at real hard. We outlined plans for that period, such as I will eat nothing but organic, locally grown homemade pickles during daylight hours* and I will deadlift my Rottweiler forty times a day while running up and down the stairs and doing laundry.* We reported in, we offered advice, we supported and encouraged one another. And you know what, it worked pretty well.

It served as the inspiration for me to commit to a major overhaul of my health and fitness, and that's turned out pretty well, even if it is  now due for a tuneup. And often, Boot Camp was most successful for me when my darling, sweet, wonderful husband took one of his rare trips out of town.

Like now.

Eric is off to France to visit his parents for two weeks, and I have the place (more or less) to myself. I am in full control of the remote, the menu, and my schedule. For the first time in six years, I do not have to prepare for teaching at the university --- I only have to prepare myself for my roles and auditions,  teach a few voice lessons to my newly restructured private studio, and do some organizational work for the fall season of Spotlight on Opera.

It's a perfect time to Boot Camp! I had planned to start yesterday but inertia got the better of me. I am more tired on every level --- physically, mentally, emotionally --- than usual. This may be part of the pattern of my new life, with much more travel and much more frantic travel. Reviewing the past six months, it became apparent that every single gig I had involved getting off the stage and heading to the airport for the next thing. Every one. Sometimes on the same day. Great for my career, and you can keep the energy going for a certain amount of time, but eventually you pay a price, and that particular bill has come due.

But I've taken enough time off and it's time to get back to it, as well as back to basics. Boot Camp August 2011 is going to last from now until September 1. You are welcome to join me --- set your goals, post them in the comments section, and let us encourage and support one another! My intention is to kickstart my exercise and diet program; and here are my Boot Camp goals:

1. Keep adding to my list of Reasons to Stay Fit and Healthy.

2. Read that list every day when I wake up, before I go to bed, and before anything at all enters the piehole. **

3. Write a food plan every single day. Review it first thing in the morning. Write a new one before going to bed at night.

4. Commit to P90X Lean (the cardio-intensive version of P90X), which means 6 weekly workouts. In addition, do one extra exercise session a day: a walk, a run, some time on the bike, yoga, demonstrating my mad lack of dancing skillz to an audience of disinterested Dachshunds.

5. Review The Beck Diet Solution program and go through all the steps again, as a refresher course.

I have a secret deadline, too. I'm not quite ready to announce it yet, since  the details still need to be worked out; but having a big deadline has always worked well as a motivator in the past. And I would like to get back to the monthly photo updates, as well.

So what I have done today, besides sit on my butt and blog? I'll admit, blogging about my plans is serving as a motivator. I'm having a hard time getting up and doing anything today. But so far I have:

- added to my list
-read my list
-made and followed (so far!) a food plan
- did my first P90X workout, Core Synergistics (and it was HARD today, but I got through!)
-And my greatest triumph --- succeeded in prying my a$$ out of my chair and actually doing something other than watching reruns of Tabitha's Salon Takeover.

So who's with me? Suit up and boot up! Who knows what you could accomplish in two short weeks?

*These are examples only and may not reflect actual goals of Boot Campers.
**This is a basic that really helped me when I started out. It makes you stop and evaluate. It works.

OF MOCK CHICKEN SALAD AND TOILET PAPER DOLLS

The first time I bought the mock chicken salad from Whole Foods, it was for a road trip to Des Moines, where I was singing for the summer. Eric and I like to pull off and picnic when we travel, rather than stopping at roadside restaurants, which can be hit or miss, expensive, and inevitably take more time. We stock up on delicious and healthy goodies and enjoy sitting under a tree somewhere. This time, however, poor vegetarian Eric didn't get to eat any of the salad, because I was utterly convinced that a mistake had been made and it was real chicken. The texture and taste were very realistic.

He has never let me forget this.

We love that mock chicken salad --- I prefer it to the real thing --- but it is expensive, and one of the reasons it tastes so good is because it's made with mayo. So I decided to try to recreate a less expensive, healthier version at home.

I started with a package of Delight brand soy protein patties, and thus the first disclaimer: although generally speaking, we try to avoid a lot of processed foods, this is definitely processed; but it doesn't have a long list of ingredients. Non-GMO soybean protein (sadly, not organic), soy fiber, condensed wheat protein, soybean oil, sea salt, vegetarian seasonings. Not too bad but still a treat to be enjoyed in moderation. The cost was about $5.49 for 10 ounces --- not cheap, but a lot cheaper than the prepared chicken salad from the deli counter.

I tore the patties into small pieces and mixed them with a dollop of plain nonfat yogurt; a tablespoon of honey; a double handful of pecan pieces; tiny, sweet champagne grapes which are deliciously in season, and salt and pepper to taste. I wish I had had some celery and poppy seeds to add; next time. I had a few leftover shallots so I threw them on top; also very tasty, as would a few chopped bits of sweet onion. The result is a very meaty and satisfying "chicken" salad, great on sandwiches or a big pile of lettuce leaves, which is how I enjoyed mine, because ...

... it's time for  Beck refresher course.

I have not been happy, over the past several months, with the direction my waistline has been taking, and even more importantly, with how I've been dealing with food. I can't remember the last time I wrote a food plan, and although I am much more fit than I've ever been, and remain conscious of what I put into my mouth every day, there's no question that there's been some slippage.

I said to myself, back in 2008 when I started this journey, that I would not set a magic number or size that I wanted to be; that I would watch and listen to my body and see where it seemed to want to settle. I think that I got a little lower than my body's comfort zone; still not slender by anyone's standards but not plus-sized either. I'd like to get back closer to that weight and size. It was here:

Pic of the month, February 2009. At the time I thought I wanted to lose another thirty or so pounds, but now I realize I'd be really happy if I could maintain this size.

This, perhaps, is not the best comparison pic, since I'm wearing a lot more  layers of clothing and Princess Leia hair (which looks a lot better under a bonnet), but this is the most recent pic I have:

That's the Act I costume of my most recent gig, The Daughter of The Regiment at the Sugar Creek Symphony and Song Festival. Again, perhaps not the best pic for comparison ... but better than the one with the giant hoop skirt that makes me look rather like a short, fat toilet paper doll. Seriously, judge for yourself:

Act II of Fille du Regiment, with Javier Abreu as Tonio, Courtenay Budd Caramico as Marie, and Matthew Lau as Sulpice. Photo by George Kwain, and it really is a lovely dress ... but check out the comparison below.

Yep. Under her little crocheted skirt is a big ol' roll of Charmin. 'Cause, you know, who wants to look at toilet paper?

Well, I digress. But nevertheless, I'm not completely happy yet with my body; but I'm even less pleased with how loose I've gotten with my eating habits. I've been complaining about this for a long time, and I've been working on it, but it's time to work harder. My life has changed a lot since I started this journey and this blog; I'm busier, and on the road more, but that cannot be an excuse.

So, I'm going to start the Beck Diet Solution over again from the beginning. It's what got me going the first time. I've already begun writing my list of reasons why I want to lose weight, and when I finish this post, I'll be working on my food plan for tomorrow. It's just time for a refresher course. I always knew this was going to be necessary; that I wouldn't just reach the end of the road and never have to work at health and fitness again. I may have underestimated the amount of energy and inspiration it takes to keep going, day after day. But the good thing about energy and inspiration is that you can always find it, if you look.

The toilet paper doll is pretty inspiring, if you ask me.

PUNISHMENT: WHY DIETS DON'T WORK

My mom and I were talking yesterday. She's a champion dieter. She was slender as a girl, but put on some weight after she had babies, and for all of my childhood and most of my adult life, she struggled with it. As long as I can remember, Mom was always on a diet. TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly). Several bouts with Weight Watchers, and a couple of other commercial programs whose names I've forgotten, and one at a doctor's office where she went weekly for acupuncture, behavior modification lectures, weigh-ins, and doses of L-tryptophan.

It was the latter we were discussing. Mom has, by the way, successfully reached maintenance status on Weight Watchers, and kept the weight off for several years now. She is in better shape and more active than ever before (I'm so proud of her)! She was telling me how she believed that many of the things she'd learned at the doctor's office were mainstays of her current success. Determination, and writing down every single thing you eat, she said, were the keys to success. "I remember Dr. Heinze telling someone who was upset that she hadn't lost weight that week that she shouldn't look on it as a failure, but an opportunity to do better next week."

I took issue with those things, and it got me thinking. "She shouldn't look on it as a failure because it isn't necessarily a failure," I said. "It's normal and natural that you don't lose weight every week, for a wide variety of reasons. And even if the reason is that you ate too many calories, so what? That's a normal part of the process, too. It doesn't mean you've failed, as long as you get back to eating on plan right away. The only possible way to fail is to give up entirely."

I think one of the reasons so many diets fail is because no one takes into account the psychological aspects. It's swept under the rug, and in doing so, reinforces the crippling shame and guilt that so many overweight people feel about their eating and their lack of ability to lose weight. If you can't do it, it must be because you lack discipline, you're lazy, you're greedy, you don't want it badly enough, you're a failure. It couldn't possibly be because the entire advertising world, society at large, and your own freaking brain chemistry are influencing you. Hamstrung by humiliation and shame, it's ridiculously hard to break the cycle of overeating. If you identify with this statement, please immediately get your hands on a copy of The Beck Diet Solution, cognitive therapy for overeaters. It's what set me on the path to righteousness. ;)

No one takes into account the punitive nature of dieting. At least, I always found it to be punitive. I really, really dislike the notion of keeping a food journal in which you must confess every morsel that passed your lips so you can chastise yourself about your slip-ups. To me, Dr. Beck's idea of writing a daily food plan is a much better idea. It empowers you to choose the foods and amounts you will eat, and it takes the pressure off of having to make a choice on the spot --- which is an opportunity to slide. Every time I look at my food plan, I feel empowered, because it was my decision to eat this way today, and I know that if I want a big bowl of ice cream tomorrow, I can plan for it and it will be part of my plan. It is not a screw-up. The food plan helps me stay focused on my goals and encourages me to make better choices on a daily basis. It takes out the guesswork.

Feeling like I am in control and eliminating the possibility of failure by not placing any foods off-limits have been absolutely key to changing my own eating habits. Seeing periods of less discipline (like the one I am just coming out of) as a natural, normal part of the process is another.

I absolutely refuse to beat myself up or call myself names over indulgences or periods of sloth. Life happens. Stuff interferes. You cannot possibly always be at the top of your game, and it is counterproductive to insist on it. Instead, be mindful of what is going on and why. Be honest about what and how much you're eating, and even if you're on vacation, traveling, or enjoying the holidays, just make the best choices you can even if they aren't perfect. Have the big bowl of ice cream and say no to half-and-half in your coffee for the rest of the week.

And make a plan for getting back to normal good habits. It can be tough to settle back in to a day-to-day healthy plan. You may have several abortive efforts. That's okay --- just keep trying until you get it right. Set a start date. Ease yourself into it. If you've been enjoying a lot of indulgences, don't cook for a week. Buy a rotisserie chicken or some cans of tuna and beans, a big bag of salad, some frozen veggies, some brown rice and whole wheat pasta, some low-sugar sorbet, and have a week of eating very simply. Measure everything and plan everything. Take a walk every day. Put on nice clothes and fix yourself up every day. At the end of the week, you'll be more relaxed, you'll feel clean, and you'll be able to get back on track much easier.

Show up every day and do what you can do that day. Define success for yourself. Start small, and build. That is how you will attain longterm success. :)

OPENING NIGHT AND DISTRACTIONS

It's opening night! Normally, the fact that it's a show day would not deter me from my regular workout routine. However, since the knee continues to act up and this is a physically active show (and since I am going directly from here to Chicago --- aka Da Big Time), I'm not taking any chances. I did a light cardio workout -- half an hour on the elliptical; skipped my weight lifting routine because it involves push-ups (I do 'em like a girl on my knees and that is not advisable right now; and although my foot is much better it still doesn't want all that pressure on the toes to do regular macho push-ups); and did 100 crunches plus some yoga instead. I must remember to stretch my hips. It hurts so good. Who knew your hips could get so tight?

Yesterday I also took it easy, and did a little walking and a nice session of yoga. It was a day off (Dark Night, actually; the night before opening), and I drove over to Skanteales. Gorgeous!

It was quite chilly and brisk, and I figure that I burned a lot of "brown fat" just by walking around so much. It was such a gorgeous day, and a beautiful little town. Folks in upstate New York are as friendly and hospitable as Southerners, and you know coming from a Texas girl that's saying a lot. I just love it here.

The lakewater was crystal clear, and the golden leaves floating on it were just beautiful.

As I prepare for my two performances, I'm also packing and getting ready to begin rehearsals for Ballo almost immediately, and I am trying to "eat up" everything in the fridge and pantry without buying more food, so nothing goes to waste. This makes for some very odd and not necessarily balanced meals, and I find that I have to be careful not to eat too much just so as not to waste food. One way or the other it will be wasted --- better in the trash can than on my hips! Our minds are full of tricks.

Speaking of which, in yesterday's comments section Sara mentioned that she is still having a hard time with impulse control, even when she realizes that her desire to eat is coming from emotional reasons rather than hunger. "What do you do when you recognize that what you want is emotional but you're still leaning toward the comfort of food anyway?" she asks.

Well, recognizing that you're self-medicating with food is the first step. It takes a while to reprogram responses to this, and sometimes you will be successful, others not. You're not aiming for perfection. You're aiming to keep working on it and to be successful more often than not.

There are several things you can do when confronted with an emotional desire to eat. If it's not time to eat a meal or a scheduled snack, remove yourself from the vicinity of the food. If you're driving past the doughnut shop, just keep driving. And yes, as soon as you can, distract yourself with another activity that will engage your mind and body.

It's painful, but you must confront that emotion that is driving you to eat. Are you eating because you're lonely? Bored? Hurting? Feeling left out? Feeling deprived? 

What can you do to address those feelings and comfort yourself, other than to eat? This is where I would whip out my list of reasons that I want to lose weight. The first two years, I kept a list in the kitchen, on  my desk, by my bed, and in my purse. Any time the thought of food or eating for any reason other than hunger entered my mind, I read that list. I reminded myself of why I wanted so badly to lose weight and to be healthier. I reminded myself that I wanted that more than I wanted a cookie.

I also reminded myself that if I really, really wanted whatever was tempting me, I could have it. But not today, not right now. If I wanted it, I had to write it down in my food plan. Having that food plan gave me immense freedom. It gave me control. I got to say what I would eat, how much, and when. I found that I could put off eating something indefinitely, because often when it came time to write the plan, the craving had passed, and I felt much more motivated to see a lower number on the scale than I did to eat whatever it was. But I have always scheduled special treats so I never feel deprived!

I had some powerful response cards, as well. I kept a book of them with me at all times and any time I felt tempted, I re-read them. I wrote new ones to respond to new situations. Every time I felt cued to eat when I shouldn't, or something I shouldn't, I responded with one of those cards. It's not enough to just think it; there is power in the written word.This book of responses became my talisman. Even though I rarely read it now, it always travels with me and is always at hand.

This old post of mine might be helpful; and I certainly recommend, as always, Dr. Judith Beck's books, The Beck Diet Solution (which is the single most important tool I used to lose weight) and her newer volume, The Beck Diet Solution for Life.

And now, I have to get ready for my show, and the party afterwards. I have no idea what kind of food to expect but I know I will be drinking some of my carbs. That means healthy snacks now, so I can let loose a little bit later on!

YOU NEED TO READ THIS BOOK

I finished reading The End of Overeating while in New York last week, and want to again recommend that anyone who struggles with food issues --- whether or not you are at a healthy weight --- read this book. I plan to re-read it myself, because I devoured parts of it so greedily. You see, not only did I recognize my own story in Dr. Kessler's research, but I recognized the very things I have done to break my own cycle of overeating and the very same struggles I have today.

You need to read this book so that you will understand the science behind why some of us eat too much and why we obsess about food. You need to have the answers for yourself, and also so you can stave off the attacks of the people I like to refer to as the "Nyah, Nyah Fatties" types --- those outspoken folks who think that just because they don't have a problem putting down the fork that anybody who does is weak-willed and lazy. There is so much guilt associated with food issues, and it stands directly in the way of getting better. 

You need to read this book so you will understand how the processed food and restaurant industry takes advantage of human nature to literally addict you to fat, salt, and sugar; not to mention the absolute disgusting crap they are feeding you.

You also need to read this book so you will understand how to start defeating the cues and the conditioning that lead you into the same destructive cycle over and over.

Dr. Kessler offers a general framework for treatment, but for more specifics for how to break the cycle, read Beck. Cognitive therapy directed at eating behaviors is the way to go, Kessler even acknowledges this. Many of the "food rehab" techniques he suggests are very similar, if not identical, to Beck.

Here are my personal recommendations for breaking the cycle, based on  what I have done myself and now seen reinforced in Kessler's findings.

1. Become aware of the specific situations in which you tend to overeat. First you have to identify the cues or triggers that start the ball rolling.

2. Create competing behaviors or distractions when faced with a cue. In my case, I read my list of reasons for losing weight and my response cards before putting a bite of food in my mouth. I have been known to change my route through the grocery store so that I didn't have to pass by certain foods.

3. Rewrite the inner dialogue when presented with challenging foods. "Oh, I want a chocolate cookie SO BAD" becomes "but if I eat one now, tomorrow when I get on the scale I will be really sorry. I've already had plenty of fat and sugar today. If I really want one, I can plan to eat it another time."

4. Create rules (by definition, conscious) that stand in place of habit (by definition, unconscious). I don't have many rules about my eating, but the strongest rule has always been, if it's not on the food plan, I don't eat it. Thinking about the food plan stops me from engaging in unconscious eating and forces me to make a decision about what I will or won't eat. It disengages me from the overeating process long enough to defuse the cue.

In the short term, while we are working on changing our behaviors,we have to work very hard to keep trigger foods out of our environment. For me, that means not bringing home ice cream or baking cookies. We also have to change our tastes. I strongly, strongly advocate getting all processed food, fast food, and restaurant chain food out of your diet. Eat a steak if you want, but make sure it's from grass-fed free-range cattle. Eat butter and eggs from cows and chickens that are allowed to live as nature meant them to live. Eat a cookie, but eat a cookie made with real butter and sugar. Don't put anything in your mouth that has artificial anything in it. Eat real food.

And if you do this, I promise you, your tastes will change. You will come to like and crave the taste of food that is close to the state in which it comes out of the ground,  or off the bone. And it is much, much better than anything injected with low quality fats and chemicals.

I very much agree with Dr. Kessler that we need to wage war on processed food in much the same way we have waged war on cigarettes. Smoking is no longer seen as cool; it is largely seen as destructive, unhealthy, and nasty. The smell of cigarette smoke is offensive and people speak up about it, rather than simply accepting it.

I wrote the other day about how ads like the ones for the KFC "Doubledown", IHOP's fat-stuffed French toast, and Denny's calorie blowout breakfasts disgust me. The food doesn't even look appealing; it looks gross. The smells from these restaurants are unappealing much of the time --- it just all smells like old grease to me. I don't know when this happened, but I know that I will go hungry for a long time rather than eat in one of these places. If you find yourself addicted to fast food and junk food, one way to being breaking the habit is to do some research about what really goes into them. Look up chicken processing; you'll never want another McNugget. Like the TV ad says, "The More You Know."

10X10-25 Challenge

I'm sitting here right now trying to resist munching. It's late, I had a good dinner, and I don't need any more food today. I haven't been able to get on a scale, but I know I am losing weight --- I can feel it, and my clothes fit more comfortably. I'd forgotten how good it feels.

 Today, I did my weight-lifting and 100 crunches in the morning, and in the afternoon, I went on a beautiful but somewhat ill-advised two mile walk along Lake Onondaga. It was an easy, paved trail, and I took my time and sat down a couple of times, but my foot let me know it wasn't happy. Oh, well. I came home and iced it and it's fine now, but I won't try that again for another couple of weeks. 

I did very well with food, overall. I have to watch the cereal munching; it's the only snacky thing I have and I am drawn to it. But other than succumbing to a bit too much of that, I've done well.

We have another challenger joining us! Danu's goal is to lose 6 pounds, and she is committed to logging her foods, eating healthy, trying to eliminate sweets, and doing 10K steps a day plus 3 -4 days a week of weight training.

In other Challenge news, Mamie made some delectable and healthy soup, and Suzanne is sticking with it despite a tough week and the call of the goldfish. What are your big challenges this week? How do you plan to overcome them?

HOT DIGGITY (DOWNWARD FACING) DOG!

The guy behind me was covered in sweaty, colorful tattoos. The girl next to me made very ... happy ... sounds as she exhaled. Me, I was just trying to stay off the broken toe and bring my focus back to my practice and away from the visions of a renegade Starbucks Vivanno that had begun to torment me. It's not easy doing one-legged planks and up-and-down dogs in a heated room, especially when you haven't done it in a year. Believe it or not, even as I struggled, aware of my body's limitations but breathing into them and accepting them rather than fighting them or allowing them to shame me, I loved it. I loved seeing my muscular arms, gleaming with sweat and golden from the city lights streaming through the dirty windows. I loved that I could do upward dog on one leg, without my torso touching the floor. I loved that the very fit young man who was leaving the studio when I entered engaged me excitedly about The End of Overeating, which was tucked under my arm. I loved walking out into the cool night air afterwards, wrung out, but knowing I was going to go home and eat my beautiful ripe mango instead of buying that stupid Vivanno. Anyway, what's not to love about Yoga to the People, a good, old-fashioned, hippie hot yoga studio? $5 a class, and nothing prissy or yuppie about it. Yoga for everyone, indeed.

I got a good start to the 10x10-25 Challenge today. I wrote my food plan out last night,and I pretty much stuck to it. I did have to make a couple of substitutions due to circumstances (not being where I thought I'd be at lunchtime), but the sub was well within bounds. My foot was feeling okay, so I did some extra walking to get in a little cardio, and then of course, the aforementioned yoga class. The only things I have not done today are my crunches --- I am a little too sore from yesterday's lifting, and a little wiped by the yoga. Tomorrow is my sing-through of Un Ballo in Maschera, and I do have to save some energy for that.

I'm very excited about so many people signing up for the 10x10-25 Challenge!  Beach Bum, Hippety-Skippety, Sara, Elisabeth, Melody, Karie, and Zorah --- we're off to a great start. How did your days go? For the duration of the challenge, I will conclude each post with a "roll call" and summation of the day's work.

For those who are actively trying to lose weight, I'd like to clarify what I mean by a food plan, and encourage you to use one, too. Traditional diets often ask us to keep a food diary, writing down everything we ate during a day. I always hated doing this; and when I started my last weight loss journey, I was determined not to do it. It strikes me as punitive in some way --- confessional, robbing me of personal power, as if I had to report in about whether I was a good little girl or a bad little girl. It set me up for judgment, and I'd had enough of that.

In The Beck Diet Solution, Dr. Judith Beck encourages us to instead use a food plan --- to actually plan what we will eat each day, write it down, and keep it close by so we can refer to it. I found this to be enormously freeing and empowering, and the single most useful tool in my weight loss arsenal. Whenever I was tempted to eat off plan, I could refer to my journal and tell myself, "Not today. It's not on the plan. If I really want some, I can plan to have it tomorrow." That was I was able to put off unhealthy treats almost indefinitely, and in many cases, the desire for them eventually went away entirely. But for things I really like --- ice cream, gelato, a special breakfast --- I could plan to have a reasonable amount on a day when the rest of my food intake accommodated the extra fat and calories.

There's no one-size fits all plan, and everyone has to choose what works best for them (and what they are willing to do, and keep on doing). So consider this my little recommendation. :)

My plan for tomorrow: I'll have to be careful. I'm meeting a friend for brunch, and after the sing-through will join some friends for a home-cooked meal, and I don't know what will be served but it will most likely be extravagant! So, I'll go for a veggie omelette at brunch (instead of the ridiculously amazing French toast - sob!) and will snack on fruit and Think Thin protein bars for lunch. I also will find time to do my lifting routine and the crunches I neglected today!

And I've just got to find a regular yoga class I can do. It makes me feel so amazing, and it really tones and builds strength. I especially like the hot yoga. Hope there's a good class in Syracuse ...

DR. KESSLER AND THE SATANIC TRIUMVIRATE

The adventure has begun! First stop is New York City for just a few days, to have voice lessons, coachings, and a sing-through of my scene from Un Ballo in Maschera. Whenever possible, my preparation of a new role culminates with an informal sing-through.  I assemble a group of friends to go through the opera with me, with a conductor hired for the purpose. It's fun and a great way to try it out before you have to do it "for real" at the first musical rehearsal with your colleagues.

My health goals for my short time in NYC are to do my weight training regularly, walk as much as my foot will allow, and eat as simply as possible. The last goal is heavily influenced by my current reading. Dr. David A. Kessler's The End of Overeating finally is available in paperback; so instead of stalking it in bookstores, furtively gulping down a chapter here and there, I finally bought my own copy. Even the introduction is a must-read for anyone with food issues. Dr. Kessler investigates, without moral judgment but rather with scientific curiosity, what makes us overeat and obsess about food. He observes that the overweight phenomenon is relatively recent, that food obsession is not the province of those who are overweight (citing several cases of slender people who have the exact same thought processes about food that fat people do --- the difference being that they have developed techniques for staying slim), and that the food industry has zeroed in on specific, almost irresistible  ways to tempt us.

I have read only the first six chapters, nodding in recognition or agreement almost nonstop. None of the descriptions of a subject's relationship with food would sound new to any of us; nor does it come as any kind of surprise that the restaurant, supermarket, and fast food,industries KNOW that their food is unhealthy, but they specifically design it to be palatable and tempting through various techniques, mostly involving the Satanic Triumvirate -- aka Sugar, Fat, and Salt. The combination of these three, Dr. Kessler shows, creates what amounts to an addiction and an almost unstoppable desire to consume more.

The science makes for very interesting reading, and I strongly recommend it to anyone who is interested in reprogramming themselves. If nothing else, you will gaze with suspicion on every bite of restaurant food or label in the grocery store, wondering how the Satanic Triumvirate and its food industry minions are trying to hook your pocketbook, waistline, and soul. It's a great diet tool!

I look forward to delving deeper, but I don't need to read ahead to know what it necessary to do to break this biological trap or de-sensitize myself to certain kinds of food cues. The obvious (not easy, but obvious) solution is none other than what I've been advocating in this blog all along: eat whole foods. Eat real, unprocessed foods. The simpler, the better.

And also, going back to Dr. Beck's techniques, which have helped me so immensely: remembering, and reminding myself constantly, that every time I give in to a craving, I am strengthening my "giving-in muscle", whereas if I refuse to give in, I am strengthening my "resistance muscle". Dr. Kessler's book explains the science which supports the truth of this statement. It's not just a cute saying or trick to help you lose weight. There is biology behind it.

Although I did my best to pack light for this long trip, I still find myself with two big suitcases, a carryon, and my computer bag. Nevertheless, at the last minute, I found myself digging out my old book of response cards and packing them along with my food plan notebook. It's time for them again. I needed some time off from them; once essential and compelling, they had lost their power. But now I find I need them more than ever, to help me restore fitness to that resistance muscle and attain my immediate goal of losing ten pounds before I head to Chicago. To help me in New York, I've further decided to stick to a very regimented diet: oatmeal or nonfat yogurt with fruit for breakfast, soup and salad for lunch, a lovely Honeycrisp apple and a handful of walnuts for a snack, and a big plate of plainly prepared veggies with a small amount of protein for dinner. Eventually, I may go back to allowing a small piece of dark chocolate after meals, but for now I think I'll try to hold off on that sugar-fat-salt combo.

When I got off the plane, feeling a little shaky and ready for some food, I did very well. My friend Nicholas met me to carry my ridiculous amount of luggage up three flights of stairs, and then I thanked him with lunch at Niko's. Nicholas has been inspirational lately because he's lost over 20 pounds off his lanky frame and looks fantastic; and all summer long, he ate salads while everybody around him was having burgers and nachos. We shared a Greek salad, talked about the book, and I stuck to my Niko's fave, the bouillabaise filled with lots of fresh veggies and seafood (though I suspect the broth, though clear, may have a lot of fat in it). Later, I read my response cards and snacked on a banana. Sure, I bought some dark chocolate at Trader Joe's, but that's for later on, when I'm in Syracuse. (Bonus: while in Trader Joe's looking at cereal, Nicholas treated me to an impromptu reenactment of the HFCS commercial spoof  which he said was inspired by my blog... there are many reasons Nicholas is a friend).

So here I am, icing my foot which is a little unhappy after its adventures today, but happy and determined to pursue my goals. Ten before Chicago is my battle cry!