The Next Hundred Pounds

BAH HUMBUG --- MY CHRISTMAS RANT

Does anyone else find the current Subway sandwich campaign offensive? I mean, I find fast food in general offensive, although if you HAD to eat fast food, a sandwich from a place like Subway, Potbelly,  Jimmy John's or Quizno's would probably be one of the better bets, depending on the choices you made.  But what I'm talking about is the current ad campaign in which beautiful women, usually in an office setting, trick some nerd out of his lunch by offering to be his girlfriend.

It's supposed to be cute. The adult voices are manipulated to make them sound like elementary school kids, and the trick itself is juvenile, definitely a grade school manouever. But in every single one of these commercials or radio ads, a pretty woman offers to be a nerdy man's "girlfriend" and then claims his sandwich.

It's never an average or, God forbid, ugly woman, because we all know that wouldn't work, even on a schlumpy guy.

The guy is always a bit of a goof because, you know, if he were good-looking, he'd be running the place and would have already sent the bitch out to buy him a sandwich.

And of course, a beautiful woman couldn't possibly go down to the corner and buy her own damn sandwich. Or get her assistant to do it for her. Because in this  particular world, women are at best grown-up "mean girls" and at worst whores for sandwiches, and guys are stupid, easily manipulated,  inept nerds.

I mean, really. I like to think I have a pretty good sense of humor and am not easily offended, but for me, this misses the mark. But then, I'm extra sensitive to advertising this time of year, as businesses gear up to try to rev us all up to buy buy buy. I'm sick of it all. I'm sick of all the magazines, television shows, "reality" shows, movies, and yes, advertisements that continually present all of us with an unrealistic standard of living and an equally unrealistic and unattainable standard of beauty --- especially targeting women and girls --- all under the guise of entertainment and information, but with the specific goal of making us feel in some way inadequate so we will go out and spend money, mostly on crap we don't need.

What does this have to do with health and fitness? Quite a lot, actually. Look at any magazine stand and you will see that the publications marketed to women either have to do with beauty or some version of homemaking and/or parenting. The beauty publications are almost all geared towards single women in their twenties and thirties, and even those which are targeted to more mature women  and feature some articles with more substance (Marie Claire, More) show impossibly youthful and slender looking models. More --- a magazine I happen to like --- even has a regular feature called "This is what __ looks like", the blank representing the age of the particular woman being featured. Every time I look at it, I think "Not without plastic surgery or really excellent genes".  And then of course, there are the endless features of really expensive clothing and makeup. Even having lost weight, most of that designer clothing doesn't come in my size (assuming I could even afford it).

In a way, I'm a little anesthitized to all the fashion stuff, because of two things: one, for most of my life, I couldn't find that clothing in my size; and two, even when I could, most of the time I couldn't afford it. I learned to clamp down hard on my envy and accept that those things weren't for me, and to use my creativity to recreate cheaper, more flattering outfits I liked. I learned to distance myself from it all a little bit.

But as I get older, I find myself just getting more and more tired of it all, and angered by the messages it sends, and maybe that's why this Subway ad has me so up in arms. I have nieces, and I don't like what the world wants to tell them about how they should look and behave in order to have value. I don't want them picking up the hangups so many of us had as kids. For that matter, I don't want all my wonderful nephews developing those attitudes towards women.

And on a whole 'nother scale, I am generally annoyed enough with corporate America right now that I have no intention of buying Christmas presents from anything other than a local business or, preferably, artist. Any presents I give this year will be homemade, or something specifically designed to bring beauty into the world, preferably without having exploited any other human being.

One of my high school friends, Bobby Jo Cash Roberts, makes gorgeous stained glass art. Several friends of mine have recently released CDs. DC Anderson and I were in Phantom of the Opera together waaay back in the day; he still tours, but he also has a whole catalogue of fantastic cabaret-style music, much of it original. He has a new Christmas CD out called All is Calm, All is Bright. I went to college with bass-baritone Marcus Nance and have always been a fan of his smooth, sexy sound;  he's going to be on Broadway soon in Jesus Christ Superstar! My colleague baritoneTodd Thomas, who I have sung with on numerous occasions, has just re-released an album of Christian music called Crown Him Lord of All; it's available directly from Todd, and if you're interested, comment and I will get you his contact info. Last but not least, another baritone colleague (what is it about me and baritones? Love those sexy low voices!), Craig Irvin, has released his first self-titled album, Craig Irvin: An American Baritone.  Any of these would be unique, beautiful gifts and they would benefit their creators directly, with very little (if any) going to a  middleman.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get back into the holiday spirit by putting on some tunes and carrying on with the ridiculously extravagant and ever-so-slightly tacky decoration of my home (all old stuff, mostly inherited from childhood, thank you very much).  And I will not be eating any sandwiches. Bah, humbug.

A DAY OF THANKS

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Ours was small, but we still had a great time cooking and sharing our feast. None of the recipes were "healthified" this year, I'm afraid; but we used the vintage china plates, which are smaller than modern plates,  and nobody wanted more than one serving, although it was all so good! As the only meat eater in the house, I'm fixed for turkey for some time to come.  I am so thankful for the bounty of our table. I pray that those who are struggling to feed themselves will be blessed with full stomachs this holiday season, and the means to provide for their families.

We had a challenging week leading up to the holiday. Friday and Sunday of last week were my shows. Eric flew in for opening night on Friday (also our 11th anniversary!) and we celebrated on Saturday with a big hike. We were turned away from our first choice due to it being opening day for hunting season; the park was filled with deer hunters. So we ended up going to nearby Fort Duffield, a Civil War earthworks fort overlooking the Ohio River, where we climbed the short but VERY steep trail from the parking lot to the park, and then a mile trail back down along the creek bed.

Then we drove over to Jefferson Memorial Forest and did a nice, hilly hike before it got too dark. Perfect way to spend the day, and if I go back to Louisville, I'll know where to go on my days off! I am thankful that my sweet husband Eric was able to come and see my show, and that we were able to spend a wonderful day hiking together. I'm thankful for Eric, period. I pray that those who are alone find love.

The show was great, but it was a little bit stressful due to an ongoing disagreement between the orchestra and the opera company. They were unable to resolve it before our show opened, so we performed with four hands piano and a harpsichord. The orchestra was not very happy with this arrangement, and some members posted nasty comments about the production (which they had not yet seen) and protested outside the venue; but the audience was overwhelmingly supportive of the singers and really enjoyed the show. You can read a review here. I'm thankful that our show was able to go on and that it was a big success, even without an orchestra. I pray for a speedy resolution to this struggle which is keeping so many musicians out of work and is damaging to the community.

And here's a pic of me on opening night, with the mini-Marcellina made by our wonderful Susanna, Anya Matanovic. She made finger puppets of every character in the opera as opening night presents --- so talented. All I gave people were homemade brownies. I'm thankful for my incredible, talented, lovely colleagues! And I pray that everybody gets to experience such  fabulous colleagues at some point in their careers.

On Monday, we started the long drive home in the rain ... we drove over 800 miles, stopped in North Dallas for the night, and then made it home on the second day. Actually, when we hit Austin, we went straight to Whole Foods and did our Thanksgiving shopping.

On the way home, I got a terrifying phone call from my sister-in-law. My older brother, who I'd just talked to on the phone earlier that day, had been robbed at gunpoint in broad daylight, in his own driveway, in an upscale suburb of Atlanta. He's fine; my brother can basically sell ice to Eskimos, and he managed to keep the robber calm, refusing to go into the house, close the garage door, or give him his wallet (he gave him credit cards and cash). He got the guy to leave and called the police.  Needless to say, the thing Iam most thankful for this year is that my brother survived this very frightening and dangerous situation, and that my family is safe and healthy. My prayer is for the person who felt he had to threaten my brother's life in order to steal his money. I am angry at this person, but I also wonder if he is desperate, if he has kids to feed. I pray that he finds a better way to live, and that he doesn't hurt anyone else.

Even though it turned out so much better than it might have, the incident was, of course, very upsetting and  it took a surprising physical toll on me. I felt exhausted for the rest of the day and most of the next, almost as if I had the flu. Friends assured me this was the affect of the adrenaline jolt and told me to treat myself as if I had the flu. So I cooked, and napped, and cuddled with the Dachshunds (who are REALLY glad to see Mommy), and today I felt like a new woman.

So good, in fact, that after the turkey went in the oven this morning there was time  to go for a run. It was kind of tough, not one of my happier runs, but I was very glad to have done it.  After our long dinner (over the last couple of years we've evolved a tradition of French-style dining ... which basically means it takes three or four hours to eat) I took the dogs for a long walk. So at least I got my exercise in, and enjoyed my meal guilt-free.

Now I'm at home for a while. I get to be here for the holidays, though I have a few quick audition trips, and a concert to do. My goal is to work out four to five days a week. I'm thinking that I might start P90X again, but do it on alternate days and run in between. I'd like to find a 10K to run when I'm in Florida.

I'm thankful that, even as I continue to struggle, I am in better shape than in previous years. I am stronger and I have more endurance, and I still am determined to become better yet. And I pray for all of you to have a healthy, happy year with plenty to be grateful for. God bless. :)

THE CANDY HOLIDAYS

Photo by Juushika Redgrave

It's that time of year again, folks. Those of us who battle the bulge and strive for healthy eating needs must strap on extra armour as we prepare for the oncoming season of skirmishes, dubbed by my friend Kim (mother of two) as THE CANDY HOLIDAYS.

You see, junk is not allowed in her home, except on a very limited basis, and therefore her children always looked forward with immense glee to the Candy Holidays, when they'd be able to get their fix in many other venues, and possible squirrel a few pieces of contraband away against an hour of great need. Halloween is, of course, the first and most obvious of the Candy Holidays, but quick on its heels come Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, and just when you thought you were safe, Valentine's Day, all offering more and greater adult temptations. You're lucky to get through the season without having to buy new pants.

The first shot in my personal annual battle was fired yesterday, when the beautiful, tiny soprano offered me a truffle at rehearsal. What a dirty blow! We're not talking some HFCS-filled chemical compound cunningly fashioned into a pumpkin, we're talking CHOCOLATE. Happily, this turned out to be a homemade truffle comprised of dates, coconut, coco powder, protein powder, and a little bit of honey. Made in her Vitamix (I COVET this, COVET it, I tell you) which she loves so much she had it shipped to her here. False alarm! This is a woman after my own heart. We had a great conversation and she is going to show me how to make her Dream Pie, which has no wheat products, and sounds divine (and healthy)!The truffle was yummy AND guilt-free.

I don't have to worry about giving out Halloween candy or other treats, since I am not at home (and when I'm not there for Halloween, my husband pretends he isn't home, either. He loves to give treats, as long as I am the one actually dealing with the kiddies). If I am home, we usually buy candy neither one of us likes. They're not my kids and I don't have to deal with the subsequent sugar rush, so in the past I haven't worried to much about giving better choices like raisins or toys. We just make sure it all gets given away (and in the past, I've taken the leftovers to school and distributed it to my always-hungry college students). But if you do have kids at home, or just can't bring yourself to be one of the houses giving away the "crappy" candy, what do you do?

Here are my Halloween hints from last year.  In the interest of promoting better health and an end to the SAD (Standard American Diet, whose acronym is so appropriate), I point you to this post from Real Food in Little Rock, with some great suggestions for getting all that low-quality, bad-for-you candy out of the grubby paws of your beloved urchins and into somebody else's grubby paws. Also, if you just can't bring yourself to give candy alternatives, you can give better quality candy from sources like this one.

Today is my first day of rehearsal with the chorus, always a food danger zone because choristers LOVE to bake and bring goodies to rehearsals. However, I ended up going out with the cast last night and enjoying a (rare) hamburger, so there will be none for me. I had my lumpy this morning for breakfast (it was supposed to be a smoothie, but the blender was not very cooperative) and lunch is going to be a big spinach salad. Also, I am off to the gym in short order. I am just beginning to witness the faintest glimmerings of feeling better about myself, of seeing how to get really truly back on track, and this must not be blown.

So courage, my friends! Don't be defeated by a DingDong! Cower not before candy corn! Resist the Reese's! This is but the first battle in the oncoming seasonal war, but stand strong. Together we can conquer the Candy Holidays!

 

FOURTH FEAST!

Our (mostly) healthy 4th of July spread: nonfat potato salad with scallions, nonfat cole slaw with blood orange vinegar, insalata caprese, blueberry pie, grilled zucchini, yellow squash, and portabello mushrooms, grilled corn on the cob with hickory salt, barbecue seitan "ribs".  The peach frozen yogurt is not pictured. Everything is made from scratch and it was all delicious!

Tomorrow, I look forward to kicking off the day with a very hot Boot Camp. You probably won't be hearing much from me for the next couple of weeks, as the opera program is in full swing and I'm the Opera Mama. But I am determined to pack healthy lunches and dinners and keep snacking to a minimum. Aside from Boot Camp twice a week, there won't be much time for working out, so that means being extra careful with food.

I hope you all had a great Independence Day celebration with your loved ones. Among other things, I celebrated mine by using my state's online jury impaneling system, and am assigned to show up for jury duty the day after I get back from Illinois. Maybe I can have another day off sometime in  October? ;)

FOOD FOR THE FOURTH

Happy 4th of July, everyone! I actually have two days off (Sunday and Monday) before my opera workshop kicks into high gear. It's lovely to have a little bit of domestic time, cooking, tarting up the house with 4th of July decorations, flopping on the floor  twenty times a day to play with the dogs. We're planning a fairly quiet celebration at home, but of course you know there's going to be good --- healthy! ---  food. Here's my menu:

Grilled corn on the cob

Grilled zucchini, yellow squash, sweet onions, portabello mushrooms

Cole slaw (nonfat)!

Insalata caprese with multi-colored pear tomatoes and mini mozzarella balls

Red, White, and Blue Potato Salad (nonfat)!

Homemade Nonfat Peach Frozen Yogurt

Homemade Blueberry Pie (not low fat, due to the crust, but not much sugar)

As I type this, my husband is talking to his parents on Skype, describing our menu (which, as all things do, sounds so much more elegant in French. I can hear my mother-in-law exclaiming, "Ooh-la-la!" in response to the tarte aux bleuets. Yes, French people really do say "ooh-la-la"; however, my favorite exclamation shall always be "Oh, la vache!").

For the corn, I soak the whole cobb (husk and all) in cold water, then peel back the husk, leaving it attached, and rub with a little butter or olive oil mixed with herbes de provence,  plain ol' salt and pepper, or a flavored salt (I have some yummy hickory salt; might try that this year).  Then, just grill it til tender. Most of the husk gets burned off, and it's easy to shuck off what's left. Veggies get sliced , spritzed with olive oil, and salt and pepper before going on the grill. I like to melt just a sprinkling of shredded parmesan or mozzarella cheese on the mushrooms.

The cole slaw couldn't be easier. Mine is based on this recipe from FatFree  Vegan Kitchen.  I skipped the vegan mayo and just used my homemade nonfat Greek yogurt; substituted blood orange vinegar for the apple cider vinegar, and used a pinch of brown sugar instead of agave syrup (because I was out).I also chose dill --- wish I'd had fresh, but dried will do in a pinch. It's a very crunchy, slightly sweet slaw. I made it this afternoon so we'll see what it tastes like tomorrow, after the flavors have had time to marry.

I had hoped to make my Red, White, and Blue Potato Salad, which is always a big hit a 4th of July gatherings. I use fingerling potatoes in the above colors ; but I couldn't find them this year, so I'm just using red, and I'm also basing the recipe off this one from ILovenNapa.com; it sounds so refreshing!

This morning, I made my homemade Greek yogurt, and this evening I will get to work on the peach frozen yogurt. I've been wanting to make my own frozen yogurt for some time, so I can control the ingredients. I'm using this recipe from The Bay Area Bites website and I can't wait to try the peanut butter version --- but one batch at a time.

Eric is in charge of making pie crusts in this household. He makes fantastic pie crust, and I haven't the patience for it, especially when you can buy really good ones (even whole wheat ones!) at the grocery store. Still, his pie crusts are special --- so tender. It's worth the trouble for special occasions (and those are the only times I'd bake a pie, any more). Blueberry pie is one of the easiest things in the world to make. All you need is a lot of fresh or frozen berries, some lemon juice, and a little bit of sugar and corn starch. I'm basing mine off this recipe, which is originally from The Joy of Vegan Baking. I will probably use a little maple syrup instead of the sugar (and less than is called for, since we don't like our pastries to be super-sweet). I do like to sprinkle a little sugar on the top crust of the pie --- it's pretty, and it adds a burst of sweetness when you bite, so you don't need as much in the filling.

Those are the big plans! And Tuesday, after the feast, we kick off Spotlight on Opera Session II with a nice, hot, much-needed boot camp. I can't wait!

Have a great holiday, everyone.

THE BEST

Happy New Year, everybody! Boy, am I glad the holidays are over. It was great to go home for a little while and visit with my family, but for a variety of reasons it was just tough. It was probably the least successful holiday season I've had since I started losing weight. There were simply too many little indulgences here and there, and even though I worked out and refrained from pigging out, I feel like I've been taking one step forward and two back for some time now.

But life has handed me the perfect opportunity to start over (yet again) --- and while starting over and over and over can get tiresome, it needn't be discouraging. I think we discourage ourselves through false ideas about what the journey is all about. You see, there is no destination. There's no end point. You never arrive at a point where you can completely and forever stop concerning yourself with whatever troubles you, because what's troubling you is part of your makeup. While you can deny that, and pretend it doesn't exist, there is always a heavy price to pay and you will end up having to face up to it at some point.

You can learn to manage it. That's what you can learn to do. Some days you will do this better than others. Understanding and accepting this is one of the things that has been most helpful to me in my own journey. I'm not always happy about it, but I recognize the necessity to regularly regroup.

And that's what the New Year is for, right? Long ago, I abandoned the idea of resolutions; instead I borrowed an idea from my wise friend Kim and set a theme for the year. This has evolved into more of setting an intention, as one does in yoga practice. This year, it's very simple.

My intention for 2011 is to strive to be the best that I can be. My mantra is, "Is this the best choice you can make in this moment in order to be the best you can be?"

It applies to everything. To my career, to my relationships, to my personal well-being, and certainly to my health and fitness. If, for example, it's a lazy day and I'm finding it hard to divorce my buttocks from the couch and hit the gym or do my physical therapy, I will ask myself, "Is this the best choice?" And I'll be forced to examine that, and to make a good or a bad choice, and be confronted with the consequences. In the past, demanding mindfulness has worked very well.

There will be micro-goals, of course. While I am here in Chicago again for these few short weeks, I have decided to make a big effort to eat simply and to return to what I was doing at the very beginning when I followed Dr. Walter Willett's guidelines. One of the most important of these is to get most of my carbs from whole foods, especially fruits and veggies, with a little bit of grains thrown in. I'm not buying bread, not doing any baking, and only bringing a minimum of whole grains into the house. Unsweetened oatmeal, check. Brown rice, check. Popcorn as the occasional snack, check. Nothing made with flour except for the occasional special treat.

Another thing that was very successful for me originally was a certain amount of routine in my daily menus. Almost every day for two years, I ate nonfat Greek yogurt with fruit, nuts, and honey for breakfast; and an afternoon snack of an apple with two tablespoons of homemade walnut butter. I didn't get tired of them; in fact, I really looked forward to them. They helped me keep my daily caloric intake consistent without having to count calories. So I am trying this again. It's too cold right now for yogurt; but I am trying oatmeal instead, and am back to my apple-a-day treat.

I made a really great, warming, filling soup yesterday. Dr. Willett is big on broths as a sort of appetizer/filler. I love cooking with mushroom broth, which adds loads of flavor for 5 calories a serving. So I sauteed some onions, garlic, and mushrooms, added the broth and several handfuls of fresh spinach, some brown rice, and some chorizo-style seitan. It smelled wonderful and makes a splendid lunch along with a fresh salad.

Yesterday was my first visit to a physical therapist, and I got a bunch of exercises for strengthening my feet and hips. Not surprisingly, the left side is significantly weaker than the right. In the meantime, there's a gym upstairs in the apartments where I'm staying, and my plan is to hit that elliptical and weights hard, and maybe look for an affordable yoga class to visit. I'm also a good twenty-minute walk from the opera house, and since I will probably go at least once a day, that'll be an excellent little "extra". Over Christmas, I tried out the fancy-schmancy gym and a couple of aqua fitness classes. Turns out they are indeed an amazing full body workout, and if I can find an easily accessible pool back home, I'll incorporate that into my regular training. Jury's still out on the gym.Their Pilates and yoga classes were fairly limited. Note to pretty young salesboy: if you don't know what hatha yoga is, your personal endorsement of your gym's instructors as "totally awesome" may not be the most convincing selling point.

So, it's New Year Boot Camp for me, and it helps a lot to have a few weeks away from home to get started. There will be plenty of temptations and opportunities to step off the path, but as long as I stop and insist on mindfulness, I know I can (almost always) make the best choice.

MAILBOX

Again, thank you all so much for your comments, support, for sharing your own stories and thoughts. This blog continues to be an invaluable tool for my health and fitness journey, and over the weekend several emails have come in addition to your comments that have reassured me that it's helpful to others as well, for which I am profoundly grateful. When you are trying to lose weight, battle issues with food (or alcohol or whatever your personal demon may be) it's good to compare notes with real people, so to speak. There are so many neatly packaged experts out there and while their advice may be valuable, it's also often impersonal and often presents to me like just another opportunity to feel inadequate because it's so hard to live up to their shiny pretty program. Until I decided firmly to do things MY way, even if it wasn't perfect, there was never any kind of lasting success. And as I start on the next phase of my fitnessjourney, whatever it turns out to be, that is one ideal I'll be taking with me.

Now, I wanted to respond to each person who commented individually. So pour yourself a toddy, 'cause here goes!

ASTRID --- Pilates is great, especially for strengthening the core, and has been recommended by my podiatrist. Before I headed out for my long fall of singing gigs, I regularly participated in a class and hope to do so again. My previous instructor recommended a couple of DVDs, so I may get those to take on the road with me.

TWYLA --- Dr. K consulted with my podiatrist (they work in the same building). Both of them took X-Rays and mentioned that an MRI may be necessary, but wanted to see how the PT worked out first. Since our insurance probably won't cover an MRI (hell, it probably won't cover the PT; it didn't for my broken wrist), we're holding off on it.

  Thanks for reminding me not to accept the "expert" advice at face value. A second opinion is always a good idea. Although I feel I can trace the onset of these problems to a specific incident and the resulting therapy, it's quite possible that degeneration had been lying in wait, so to speak. At my request, Dr. K also prescribed massage as part of my PT after I told him that the single most helpful thing for pain relief and mobility had been the myofacsial massage.

Oh,and the bursitis --- it's probably time to get new bras, something all of us endowed ladies should do on a regular basis. Mine were expensive and fit very well, and I always use underwire, but I've had them a while. The exact same shoulder pain used to happen to me regularly when I was in college (except then it was on the other side) and I think it has more to do with the fact that I sleep on my side and sometimes seem to get that shoulder at an awkward angle, aggravated by being off kilter anyway. 

Thank you for your advice. All of this is worth looking into, and I shall. :)

FRAN --- Good Lord, I'm not sure where you're going to lose another ten pounds from! You already seem fit as a fiddle to me.

I hear you about the stress on the joints, but having found exercise I really enjoy, I'm not quite ready to give up on the running. However, I am totally with you about the cross-training. Weight lifting, elliptical, walking, and Pilates have always been a part of my routine. I love walking, too, especially hiking, which does not seem to annoy my hips (perhaps because the constant change in terrain encourages a different range of motion, much like your grapevines?). Always wondered why people used those trekking poles on the flat, easy walking trail. Thanks for the clarification!

REBECCA --- Yoga is the best! For a long time now I've wanted to find a regular class (I need the guidance to help me practice). This fall, I subscribed to My Yoga Online, which has a large variety of classes you can sample. I miss the class environment, though. Hope you don't have to have a knee replacement. :)

FRANCES --- For some time now I've experienced a stiffness in my hips during/after running, and found that a couple of sessions with a good massage therapist who was willing to really work the hips helped tremendously. It wasn't until my foot injury and subsequent 6 weeks in the post-op shoe that the pain and stiffness became chronic. However, I agree with you that inactivity is not the answer!

Barefoot running intrigues me and is definitely on my list of things to try when I do feel sufficiently recovered to start running again. And you're welcome to plug your blog here and link to it. I only object to plugs when they're from spammers for some ridiculous weight loss product. :)

DALILA VALENTINE --- Thanks for the empathy and the reminders. Poor Dr. K, I fear I may have inadvertantly demonized him. He did not at all lecture me or say rude things, and he did indeed acknowledge my 130 pound weight loss when I told him about it. He didn't keep repeating, "You need to lose weight, you need to lose weight". He just mentioned weight loss several times in a list of things that would help, and I was (unsurprisingly) ultrasensitive to that. I didn't mean to paint him as a bad guy. He's not!

URSULA --- Huh. I've heard of Chi Running and done a little reading on it, but not Chi Walking. However, it does seem to be a natural progression of thought, does it not? Thanks for the offer of your extra DVD. I would love to see it.

HIPPETY SKIPPETY --- I am SO tickled that you started running. As for stretching, when I turned (BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP) I asked the gynecologist what I should be doing for myself moving forward, and she told me the single best thing I could do would be to stretch every day. I don't always do it, but I sure feel better when I do. More recently I've been starting workouts with a 10-15 minute stretching session specifically targeting my hips, and that helps a LOT.

MELANIE --- See my response above to Dalila. Poor Dr. K is getting  bit of a bad rap here because I didn't articulate my experience with him fully or particularly well. It was our very first meeting, and I was impressed that he took the time to speak at length with my podiatrist who referred me to him prior to our appointment. He did indeed mention the weight loss (and that's all he did, mention it) in a list of other possibile therapies.

And like both you and Twyla mentioned, it's a very good idea to have other tests. The harsh reality is, like a lot of other people in this country,I kind of have to wait and see what our insurance is going to cover.

Thanks for the reminder that we all have to focus on what we CAN do rather than what we can't. I've been in a holding pattern for too long. Time to move on! Who knows, maybe I'll find something I like even better than running. :)

ANN --- Yes, it has been extremely uplifting to receive so many comforting and practical words from posters and also, a number of people who emailed me privately. Thanks for yours.

CELESTE --- I can relate about food being a constant struggle. I expect it always will be.  Yesterday, at the table with my two beautiful, slim sisters-in-law, I was reminded again that even slender people have to watch what they eat. It makes me very happy that I am now capable of eating more like they do.

You're absolutely right that cross-training is good for ---well, everything. It doesn't seem wise to limit oneself to doing only one type of exercise. For one thing, it's boring. For another, you need to cross-train to ensure that everything's getting a proper workout and is appropriately strong, and the right kind of cross-training supports your preferred activity. I tend to write more about my running because frankly, there's not much to write about a session on the elliptical machine, but I do a variety of activities every week. :) I also very much subscribe to your "use it or lose it" philosophy! And there are lots of great ways to use it.

***

And speaking of using it, I am off to investigate the local fancy-schmancy expensive gym with all the nice classes and toys. It's very close to my home, it offers aquatic fitness classes as well as yoga, Pilates, free weights every machine under the sun, and the fun stuff like steam rooms and saunas. I've always been a less-is-more girl when it comes to gyms, but I find myself at a point where perhaps one-stop shopping is the best plan for life as I currently know it.

One last thing before I sign off: the no-snacks-on-the-table thing seems to be working well. My mom is in cahoots. When we went over to her house on Christmas Day, there was a HUGE platter of cookies sitting in a prominent place on the kitchen island, and it immediately began its siren call. I asked her to put it out of sight, which she happily did, and that ended the temptation. So far, we have only had food out when we were dining. Even the plate of fudge my sister-in-law's mom made sat on the table only long enough for everybody to have a piece --- then one of the s-i-ls insisted on putting it away. All hail to Arnold, whose brilliant idea this was!

I hope everyone continues to enjoy the holidays. It's beautiful, if chilly, weather here in Texas, and I intend to enjoy as much of it as I can before heading back to icy Chicago!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Merry Christmas! And thank you from the  bottom of my heart to everyone who has commented or emailed me about the last post. I would like to respond to each person individually and plan to do so, but it may take a few days. Please know that your support and suggestions are very much appreciated.

Yesterday was a rough day chez nous --- just lots of stupid things happening like glasses breaking and computers crashing, and you know, when you're already off your game, those little things roll into a snowball of magnified importance until they seem overwhelming ... until they bust up against reality and you see them for what they are, a bunch of irritating but hardly insurmountable little bumps in the road. Nevertheless, we managed to have a really lovely evening and we've also had a lovely and relaxed Christmas Day. I hope all of you are doing the same.

Somewhere in the midst of all the mayhem, the lightbulb turned on and the angels sang. Laaa! I have been so obsessed with what I cannot do (for the present; I may very well be able to do it again) that I have really not been very open to other possibilities. When the journey first began, daily exercise would have been an impossibility for me (psychologically more than physicially). The thought of running never entered my mind as something I could do, let alone something I would want to do, something I'd be upset if I couldn't do. It was very important to let exercise come to me naturally, on my own terms, as opposed to somebody else telling me what and how and how much I ought to be doing. Taking charge of my own health and doing it my way has been central to my success. So maybe one reason this is all so upsetting now is that my choice has --- however temporarily --- been taken away and I am being told that the best thing for me right now is something I've been opposed to doing.

I'm not keen on the idea of swimming. First of all, doing laps in a pool seems incredibly boring. (I don't like to run on a track either. What's the point of running in circles)? Secondly, I'd have to wear a bathing suit in public. Nobody needs to see that. And finally, it's a lot of trouble. You have to find a convenient pool, which is not always that easy, and you have to get your hair wet (which means taking the time to dry and style it after every workout; and if you color your hair, and I do, it really messes with it). However, aqua jogging has been suggested by a couple of people, and that I might be able to get on board with. I'm not particularly attracted to the stationary bike, but again ... maybe I need to try a spinning class. The point is, there is stuff I could be doing, and maybe I won't like it much at first, but maybe I'll come to like it a lot. The point is, I have to try.

I'm not happy with my body right now. I am not happy with the problems it's having, and to be perfectly frank I am no longer happy with my current weight. I give myself credit for the work I've done, but I also acknowledge that it's time for a new tack. I am not sure yet exactly what that should be, so the first job is to figure it out. And while I am doing that, I'm taking inventory of all the little places where I've been slipping, because they add up.

Here's the thing. I was able to lose this weight because for two years of my life, I was able to concentrate on it with an almost religious intensity. I have not been able to sustain that level of intensity during maintenance, no matter how hard I've tried; but all this means is that maintenance requires something different.

I'm going to find out what that is. That is the next mountain pass in the journey. I bet the view from the top will be magnificent.

INSANITY ISN'T ALWAYS A BAD THING

This would be a day of much craziness. This would be the day of a mileage run to Boston and back, with approximately 3 hours on the ground in between, during which I have not even left the terminal.

Logan Airport, 4 p.m.

For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, a milage run is a flight which you have purchased solely for the purpose of adding to your Frequent Flier miles, in my case in order to ensure my Elite status for next year. I was a few thousand miles short, so there was nothing for it but to buy a ticket and spend a day flying. This time of year it is, of course, nuts, but having Elite status makes it SO much easier, and that is why I'm even bothering. I fly enough that it really makes a difference to my pocketbook (not to mention sanity) that the privileges which come with the status are really worth it.So as much as it hurts to shell out for a flight and to spend a day traveling when I'd really rather be at home cuddling husband and Dachshunds, it's necessary.

The security line this morning

This two-hour security line in Austin? Breezed right by in the Priority line. Strolled to my gate, passing barefoot passengers sprinting for their planes and a remarkably composed dad carrying a remarkably composed toddler who wanted to know why their plane had left without them (answer: two hour line). My resentment at having to spend a day traveling when I'd rather be home vanished when I saw this. SO worth it.

So, here I am with my laptop and a good book, getting plenty of work done on the flight and at the club while waiting to head back home (did I mention upgrade headed home? Niiiiiice). What I have not gotten much of today is exercise, although I have done exceedingly well with food, particularly reigning myself in on the free stuff at the club. :)

Well, first of all, I am reeeeeeaaaallly achey from my Power 90 workout on Tuesday. I could hardly walk when I first woke up. Power 90 involves a lot of plyometrics and squatting and lunging. I modified a lot of the plyo, figuring it wasn't good for my foot. But still. I was so achey that I didn't work out yesterday, feeling guilty all the time. When I got off the plane today, I made sure I walked around a lot before settling down to work.

But here's the deal. Yesterday I saw the podiatriat, and long story short, no running for me in the foreseeable future. This is a major bummer. My broken toe has not healed and though it's not bothering me now, if it begins to there may need to be surgery at some point. There's a problem with my big toe, sure enough, and as I suspected, being in the post-op shoe for six weeks along with the injury has thrown my whole left side out of alignment and is causing all kinds of problems. Tomorrow morning I have another appointment with a physiatristm and I imagine some physical therapy will be in order. Until then, Dr. Urukalo (my extremely cool podiatrist, who is herself a runner), says no running, no squats, no lunges, and certainly no plyo. (I confess: there was a secret sigh of relief when I learned squatting and lunging is not in my immediate future, but maybe that's because my inner thighs are in such pain right now). I'm guessing Crossfit is also out for now. What I can do is the elliptical, bike, Pilates, yoga, and weight training.

And that means no more excuses, I've got to get on the ball. My cardio workouts are really going to have to count, and it's time to get serious about the weights again, as I've been slacking off. I need to formulate a training plan. That's the next big project --- after, of course, I talk to the physiatrist tomorrow.

But right now, it's time to get back on the plane. :)

 

THE GRANNY MORNING WORKOUT

The thing I am proudest of today is doing my workout. It was a granny morning, with stiff hips and aching feet from yesterday's three-mile walk, but I had set a goal of doing my Power 90 DVD before lunch, and by cracky I did it. However, given how annoyed my feet now are, I think I will skip the Galloway run/walk. This is galling, because it's only 19 minutes; but sometimes you have to sit one out for long-term good.

I am always concerned about making excuses to not work out or not to eat properly. It's just something that must always be consciously examined and dissected. Yesterday reader Jennifer suggested I look into Crossfit, something I've been interested in for a while. The last time I checked there weren't any classes that were convenient; and also, I'm a little leery to get started on something new with my feet and hips still such a mess. But that doesn't mean I couldn't check again, see if there's anything new out there. Turns out there are two studios that are fairly close. I'm in the process of researching them (so far, one of them is not very forthcoming with information --- I think the person in charge is just not very articulate, but that doesn't bode well for an instructor. Not giving up, just trying to drag the info I need out!) and if things go well at the podiatrist office tomorrow, I'll see about trying the free pass that one of the studios offers.

Today was about running around doing errands and checking things off my list. I did pretty well with sticking to my food plan. We had some great sashimi with some great friends, and tomorrow I plan to cook a couple of recipes from Deborah Madison's How to Cook Everything Vegetarian to help us get healthfully through the remainder of the week. We have semi-decadent plans for Christmas Eve, and the trick is to keep portions reasonable. My friend Arnold had a splendid idea for dealing with the endless snacking that goes on when the whole family is here: declare the table where we sit around playing games a no-snacking zone. That is, people can have their individual goodies at the table, but no setting down huge bowls of chips and dip or candy in the middle of the table, within easy reach. I think this is a GREAT idea. All food should have to stay in the kitchen, and anybody who wants a snack should have to move their butt to get it. So let it be written, so let it be done.

And that's it. No profundities. Just another day in the life. :)